This is one of the reasons why today I no longer run away from challenges: because I know that if I have to go through that and refuse, in the future the situation will get worse. It also gets worse because everything that happens in our life has a WHY and sometimes that seemingly insignificant challenge can prepare you for much bigger situations.
Anyway, at that time I was already in therapy and the psychologist gave me a series of exercises in order to gradually lose my shyness. I started by asking someone in the market for the time and the goal was obviously to get over every nerve to get to the level of being able to speak in public. But what really impressed me was the advice given by her when she realized the despair I felt:
"If fear insists on going with you, then put it on your back and go anyway."
That is: courage. Courage, Vanessa, courage. Go scared, but go.
On the day of the presentation of my first seminar in college, and in English, I froze, just like I did at school, even after all the training. The difference was that instead of crying and leaving the room, as I used to, I kept standing there in front of everyone, holding on to the table so I wouldn't fall, because my legs were wobbly... and so I stayed until an idea came to me. : I asked the students in the room about the topic I was going to deal with, I asked about the topics and, as they talked, I continued. I had no idea what I was doing, but I kept going because that attitude was calming me down and it was even fun. At the end of the presentation, I received a lot of applause and the teacher gave me a 10 for the great interaction with the class, she said that I had innovated by getting all the students to participate instead of just talking and talking. I still received praise from my classmates for the resourcefulness.
They could hardly imagine that I had done all that completely on the spur of the moment, because I had been given a blank. None of them noticed that I was asking questions because I had actually forgotten and not because I was “testing” or “playing” with them. But what does it matter? What matters is that I finally managed to speak and I even discovered a technique: asking questions to the audience, encouraging the answers. So I take the focus off myself and my nervousness.
After that, I presented several other seminars, each one more interactive than the last; I realized that if I spoke from the middle of the room instead of the front, the sound of my voice would spread evenly and I wouldn't have to raise my pitch too much; I taught and was the teacher who organized debates with the students and prepared games; and I was the valedictorian of my class. All based on interaction.
Today, I sometimes act in front of the cameras. And the first time I came face to face with a camera I was told to pretend she was a person. It was easy. Even though I was faking it, being able to play with people in front of me and act on their reaction became fluid and fun for me.
Who knew that would happen, when in the past I barely spoke in public.
