In the circus show, the elephant makes a thousand and one demonstrations showing different skills in the midst of its dizzying strength. Before entering the scene, however, this thunderous animal remains apathetic, restrained in its movements, held by one paw in just a tiny chain that imprisons it to a small wooden stake driven into the ground. Even if the chain were thicker, which is not the case, he would certainly have the ability to knock it down with minimal effort, being able to instantly rescue his innate ability to move freely and spontaneously wherever his instincts took him. The point is that he takes no action in this regard. I wonder why?
Unraveling the riddle: The elephant doesn't escape its captivity for a pretty obvious and dramatic reason, it was stuck on that little piece of wood at an early age. At that time he tried hard to get rid of what held him, but he didn't have enough strength to do so and despite all his efforts, he was overcome by what tied him in that situation. Finally, exhausted, he gave up trying, understanding that his existence would be restricted in that way. It would be semi-free only when its owners allow it. Anxious and saddened by his fate, he spent hours and hours waiting for a small break of freedom and movement.
The cycle of dependence and lack of contact with one's own strength, both for elephants and for humans, begins very early on and if not properly treated, it will run the risk of repeating itself in the same pattern in relationships that will inevitably have abusive
In the world of the circus, the elephant does not let go because it is not aware of its size and strength and, consequently, does not believe that it can. Likewise, daughters of perverse narcissistic mothers also experience similar difficulties. As hostages, they perpetuate themselves in this status of emotional shock, in which the current chain, which keeps them tied to the stake, are in the harmful and disqualifying speeches that fulfill the function of putting them in a position of total insecurity in the face of any attitude. assertiveness they may have. As a result, like elephants, they do not believe in their innate strengths, they doubt their capabilities and the validity of all they could achieve. They remain shy on their walks, in the midst of an unnameable affective void, in the infinite hope that one day they will finally be loved to the extent that they lack, thus being able to definitively get rid of such chains. As beggars for love and the need for the approval of everyone around and for fear of being rejected, they go over any pain or feelings of their own in the name of satisfying the minimal needs of others.
Only when they break the chain that imprisons them, in a cry for maximum survival, do they definitely learn that they can say no, that they can feel whatever it is with safety, and they come to understand that they can support themselves without the threat of disapproval and without the need to pay attention. accounts for the lurking tormentors.
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Loyalty with the chain that binds them, invents that mothers are the only strong ones on the block and that daughters should be their eternal dependents. In this role, these mothers support themselves in the identities of magnanimity at the expense of daughters who have been severely indoctrinated to relentlessly confirm this frenzied hallucination of grandeur.
As a strategy, toxic mothers keep their children imprisoned in their chains, under penalty of not receiving love and the inexorable feeling of abandonment if they dare to break the rules of submission imposed.
For the elephant to be able to break free, fleeing away from the chains that tie him to the stake, something very serious must occur from outside, such as a natural accident, an earthquake, a storm, a hurricane, a flood, fire, in short. , any situation that puts you at real risk. Fear and the struggle for survival would make him bet on life in a very different way than anything he had learned before. Daughters of narcissistic mothers manage to untie themselves from these shackles also when they are in risky situations, when they go through severe depression, when they are beset by questions that drive them to discover the true plot of where they are inserted, when the request for life generates a critical mass. of awareness that something is very wrong and that the only way out is to get out of this toxic prison.
In some cases, competent therapy help makes all the difference so that a new healthy life cycle can be inaugurated.
Your life is your greatest asset.
The more awake, the better!
