The novel Robinson Crusoe (1731), by Daniel Defoe (1660-1731), shows that we all need friends, who are the people with whom we establish significant bonds during each stage of life and who contribute enormously to our intellectual, psychic development. and social. In addition, they are essential to help each of us build our own identity, form a self-image and evolve. In addition, they support the fight against loneliness, especially when they are present in old age.
Even some friends are fundamental enough to direct us to the path of spirituality, such as George Harrison, who literally encouraged his friends John Lennon, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr to develop it through Transcendental Meditation.
In the friendship relationship, one is willing to see the divine that exists in the other. In this sense, we have the opportunity to exercise generosity, compassion, reciprocity and forgiveness, behaviors that bring us closer to God. So, read on and discover the importance of having good friends, whether to live better or to evolve on your spiritual journey.
What is friendship?
Friendship is the name given to an affective relationship, in which feelings of loyalty, protection, compassion and affection are involved. It is established with people who are very similar or completely different from each other, regardless of gender, class or ethnicity.
In addition, friendship is a source of personal maturation, as this relationship, which is based on empathy, understanding, mutual help, trust and reciprocity, adds ideas, values, attitudes and behaviors that may vary according to culture and with society. It is essential for a person to enter the world with freedom and lightness.
Why are friends important?
It is through friendships that we live in line with the gregarious nature of human beings, that we build a happier existence. Among the many reasons that justify the importance of friends are:
- Empathy development
They teach us to listen in both joys and sorrows. In this way, we are also given the opportunity to share everything that makes us happy or that worries us, without fear of judgment.
- Stimulation of self-knowledge
In relationships with friends, we discover qualities in them and in ourselves that encourage self-knowledge. From this, we can define who we are, correct our flaws and see our successes. We expand our ability to choose and solve problems.
- Positive vibes
With friends, we have a true balm of joy, optimism, courage and hope to face the battles that life imposes on us, with energy to be stronger, more intense, more true, more confident. Thus, we perceive ourselves more loved.
- Recognition of own essence
Through friendship, we awaken to the divine touch in the uniqueness of each one, at the same time that we identify that we are part of a whole. In other words, we experience mutual help and love for others and we are willing to understand the other in the same essence of which we are made. In other words, we exercise spirituality.
- life sharing
Among friends, we externalize feelings and emotions, we share perceptions, expectations and dreams. We share the experience of our humanity and broaden our understanding of the world and ourselves. We share joys and sorrows, successes and failures, hopes and disappointments.
- Recognition of differences
Through contact with our friends, we learn to reduce spatial, temporal and relational distances, as well as fears, prejudices, intolerances, selfishness, which end up giving way to noble feelings of love, faith, forgiveness, altruism, etc. and to qualities such as kindness, faithfulness, honesty.
- character development
Thanks to friendship, we manage to preserve our physical, mental, relational, and spiritual health even if at some point or for some reason there is a disagreement, a misunderstanding or a break in the friendship. A friend fills in gaps, encourages you to move forward, “saves” you on difficult days, motivates you to overcome adversity. It also encourages the construction of good memories, moments of laughter, adventures and faith in life.
How to be a good friend
We all need good friends, people who inspire us to discover ourselves, evolve and live together better. It is impossible, however, to maintain a friendship relationship for a long time, only receiving and offering nothing. Reciprocity is one of the main characteristics for this relationship to last.
So, if we want to have good friends, we need, first of all, to be good friends, giving love, joy, kindness, cultivating an attractive personality and showing a real interest in keeping the relationship alive, with a focus on mutual benefit, for pleasure and altruism. See which behaviors favor a true relationship:
- attentive listening
Friendship is consolidated by trust and openness to expose yourself to the other. Both similarities and differences are valid and important for mutual growth, as it is useless to build this relationship on unreal or simulated foundations.
In this way, listening carefully to what friends have to say, avoiding judgments, becomes a true and stimulating learning experience. This is an exercise in respect, acceptance, tolerance and understanding that must begin with each of us. Intransigence and criticism tend to generate distance.
- celebration of joys
It is very empowering when you have a friend with whom to celebrate successes, joys, the realization of a dream or a goal. So be the first person to show companionship in these situations. Offer your admiration, your affection and your respect for the efforts involved in the conquest.
Also, be someone capable of transforming, of being a mentor, of bringing out the best in the other. Pop Art artist Andy Warhol supported the brilliance of his friend Jean Michel Basquiat and both became pivotal in XNUMXth century art.
- Strengthening in adversity
The best friends are those who are there in the most difficult times. So, make yourself available to help in adversity and in the need to overcome, offering words of support, understanding and affection. If so, just listen, hug, or do something similar to minimize suffering or emotional damage. Be the last person to leave.
And let the other person's emotion flow, let the inner pain overflow until the tension is relieved. Show compassion, solidarity, support, comfort and refuge. Help carry the load and allow the other to not be ashamed to cry (despite the belief that this behavior is weakness, it is not uncommon for people to apologize for this expression).
- sincerity and love
Even the worst truths, when spoken with love, are easier to understand and accept and can be transformative. So speak kind words, not only out of politeness or courtesy, but out of sincerity and respect for the fact that the other is as human as you are.
Even when you disagree with an idea or behavior, do it in a loving way, to promote reflection. Act with serenity and seek harmony to maintain this important relationship.
- Admiration for the qualities and potential of the other
Everyone has a universe inside them. If you want to demonstrate how much of a friend you can be, identify the other person's strengths, declaring your admiration for their qualities and potential. Even openly tell her why you enjoy friendship with her. Expose your feelings and emotions, as they strengthen the relationship and multiply.
- Self-knowledge, intellectual improvement and integral development
Encourage the integral development of your friends, being an example of caring for their physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Stimulate self-knowledge and intellectual improvement (speak about a book or movie that you recently had contact with, for example). Show interest when your friends are doing the same.
In addition, propose the connection with nature, as it brings us closer to the divine. Be that person that others would choose to enrich their spiritual journey or to carry out the Camino de Santiago de Compostela, for example. Encourage good feelings and good attitudes.
- Far beyond space, time and life situations
Cultivate friendship, regardless of physical distance, daily activities and time. Real friends are beyond these questions.
Serena Williams, for example, is an important tennis player and entrepreneur, who maintains her friendship with former actress and Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle, despite their schedules and lifestyles.
- Forgiveness
Friendships can suffer setbacks due to disagreements, disagreements and other issues that everyone is subject to throughout life, as part of the evolutionary process. In history, especially in musical bands, we have seen inspiring friendships break up and never be resumed, but that doesn't mean they lost their value.
Be willing, however, to apologize when you realize you've done something that hurt your friends. It's also important that you be the first person to forgive in the face of an offense or hurt.
Friends in the process of spiritual evolution
A friendship can arise at the most unexpected moments, not always consciously conceived. Some friends are true “treasures” capable of enhancing us, in a fruitful relationship, of which we have good memories and that we preserve throughout life. And, normally, they are responsible for keeping us in the process of evolution.
In the face of some difficulties, stress and some disappointments, it is not uncommon to eventually “forget” this path. They are the ones that lead us to take it up again and move on, because they are truly enlightened.
There are still those friends who are not in the same evolutionary stage, in the same energetic movement, in the vibration of a purposeful and meaningful life and can even discourage the process of spiritual growth, encouraging other activities at the time when dedication is necessary. That's why transparency in the friendship relationship is essential, so that the limits and ideals of each one are clear.
So, make known your purpose to know yourself and your desire to connect and progress spiritually. Friends who agree with this view will support you, and those who think differently will at least not interfere negatively.
Finally, we can have different types of friends: the funny, the dreamer, the “down to earth”, the party, the intellectual and many others who enrich our lives and transmit us joy and good energies at the same time that they support us in our hardest hours. For these reasons, each of us needs to dedicate ourselves to cultivating friendship and understanding it as abundance, a gift, which contributes to our spiritual development, bringing noble feelings such as responsibility, respect, love, understanding, generosity and empathy.
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In addition, if you look for examples, you will find many inspirations and if you reflected on the joy of having your friends throughout this article, do not hesitate to show gratitude to each of them for being part of your life, after all, as an old man says. saying, "who has friends has everything".
