By Anne Moon. December 3, 2019.
Detachment, the act of not holding on to things or people or, for many, freedom. I see that there is a confusion with this concept, so talked about nowadays, despite being mentioned a lot by Buddhism for thousands and thousands of years, so let's talk about and demystify letting go.
In Buddhism, one of the doctrines is detachment, which would be the way to live lighter, to achieve enlightenment and evolve. All this because attachment is the root of all suffering.
When we talk about clinging, it is clinging to the past, to the future, to people, to things, because there is impermanence, which does not guarantee that none of this will stay in your life, or that we will stay on that plane to enjoy everything that is around us. around us.
Attachment comes from ego in excess, as it traps us in a vicious cycle.
It is at this point where there is enormous confusion. Some think that letting go is not connecting emotionally with anyone, disregarding things and people, living only following instincts and always living on the edge, that I shouldn't filter the things and people I want in my social circle.
Since we were children, we are raised with the belief of permanence, that everything is fixed, determined, nothing changes, everything is what it is and that's the end of it. So, when something goes awry in our lives, we get into suffering and become unbalanced, don't we?
For example, you have a plan created, but in the middle of the way something happens that puts everything down, or that forces you to rearrange things a little and that destabilizes us, we don't know what to do.
Buddha says that attachment is the expression of our mind filled with desires coming from the ego. See the ego not as an insatiable monster, but as a child who needs boundaries, to understand what life is like. When the ego speaks too loudly, we are anxious to fulfill all our desires, we focus only on the "I", on what I need, feel and want and not on what the other needs, feels and wants, in the sense of donating for the people.
When you understand that life is much more about giving than receiving, you have awakened and evolved. Yes, because the flow of the universe works like that, giving to receiving, simply by the act itself and everyone acting like that. After all, this moment of social isolation, this pandemic, this new decade itself proved to be a moment beyond paying attention to our interior, to pay more attention to our neighbor, to the universe that is our home.
Attachment is the ego screaming to be satisfied. Whether in a compulsion for food, drink or anything legal and illegal too or even for sex.
There is a talk on the internet by the venerable Shifu Zhihan saying that when we are in attachment, centered on our ego, we are in this craving that we often don't even know why we are in this vibration.
In this talk he talks about the ten armies of Mara and tells that amazing story about when Mara tempted Buddha, when he wanted to stop him from reaching nibbana during meditation.
What is more curious is that the attack is fair on the ego of the enlightened.
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When Mara sends her daughters to seduce him, when Buddha feels hunger, body aches, tiredness, when he remembers that he left his children and his wife in his castle. After all, he was an Indian prince who abdicated all riches, privileges and his family, wanting to seek enlightenment.
Attachment brings us dissatisfaction and more dissatisfaction, because we are insatiable, we are always wanting something, desiring something, we are not satisfied with what we have. I speak of a person never being grateful for what he already has, so that the universe can give more and more. Dissatisfaction makes this person unable to connect in the present and express gratitude. Due to the lack of contentment, he cannot be grateful and thus cannot make his life flow, because he is trapped in this illusion of permanence, that everything is eternal, determined, that everything has already been scripted by something or someone.
That's depressing, at least for me. Imagine not being able to change anything in your life? Imagine not being able to make changes in your own life?
There would be no reason for us to move in life, just sit around and let life happen, passive, since we can't do anything to change things, everything being already determined.
That's when we realize that impermanence is part of the flow of the universe, the universe is movement, it's free.
Nothing should belong to us or control us, in the sense of possession, that thought of “everything is MINE, at MY disposal” and not let us be controlled, possessed, lose our autonomy.
The idea of ​​detachment is not to live in a cold and unruly, uncompromising way, not caring about others, about the consequences, living on automatic, but keeping in mind that “nothing belongs to me and nothing I belong to”.
Living in freedom, being a free spirit, detachment is to stop living automatically and start living in full consciousness, in unity, understanding yourself as part of the universe, no better, no worse and no equal.
It's like the zenão effect, which would be the act of co-creating the reality you so desire. You ask the universe the question: “Universe, out of all the realities available to me, I chose this particular reality. How much awareness do I need for this to update faster in my life?” and then you release to the universe saying the following sentence “I deliver, I trust, accept and thank you”, without being anxious for this to happen or for it to happen as you want.
When I talk about not wanting to own and not letting people own you, it's stop wanting to impose control on others, stop interfering in someone's evolution process and take responsibility for yourself.
When I talk about not letting things control you or you not trying to control things, it's not getting carried away by them and not getting in the way of the natural flow of things. Do you know the fine line between balance X addictions, healthy X exaggerated?
Never interfere in the flow of things or in the evolutionary process of someone, because we do not know if among all the possibilities available in life, the best among them would be the one that WE think is the best, given that the universe is abundant, free, nature is free.
To love is not to have the feeling of possession, as attachment, which comes from the ego, brings.
To love is to want freedom, which develops more and better every day.
Impermanence, detachment is an optimistic way of looking at reality, that each day can be better than the next, each day I can be the best version of myself.
Thank you for reading this article!
