First of all, it's about changing to adapt, evolve, it's about changing, not to "fit", but to overflow if necessary. It's about understanding the transience of life and rejoicing in it. It's being impermanent, for sure. It's about deconstructing yourself to rise again as many times as it takes. And that's about it... changes, disagreements, deconstructions... and that's okay!
If there is one certainty in life, it is that everything we relate to will one day change. Think about all your relationships: personal, interpersonal, professional… in short, everything you touch will change in some sense.
Whether because you yourself will change, and a lot, because of the things that will also change or simply because life wanted it that way. An immense succession of simultaneous changes and events, sometimes in no order. It's your world in complete mismatch.
So, while we want something to change in our history, we invariably cling to the idea that everything will last forever, remaining the way we idealized.
We have a strong tendency to be exaggeratedly attached to people, things and moments, which is distressing because it is beyond our control. If there's one thing we, as humans, identify with, it's wanting to be in control of everything at all times.
“Life is the art of encounter, although there is so much mismatch for life” – Vinicius de Moraes
We also mismatch when we lose connection with ourselves, with what we have as a reference. Therefore, it would be unfair, after so many efforts in order to reach a certain standard of knowledge, culture and self-love, for all this to be transformed or lost. But that's what happens when we face the “mismatch” of life.
Again, everything changes, is transfigured. And there remains that little pain of what was going to be but wasn't, that everything was in vain.
So what we have left is acceptance. Accept the process, above all engage in it in order to understand it. Broadening the view with the aim of overcoming your old project, which was sometimes closely linked to someone else's. Deconstruct who you were to move towards your new project-of-being in the world.
An incomplete project, as every project should be, but full of new possibilities, new meanings. That's about it!
When all seems lost, remember that it's time to deconstruct... Either you deconstruct yourself to exist or you die in the construction.
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Thank you and see you next time!
