When single children, who live with their parents, stay at home a lot, more specifically locked in their room without having an active social life, parents start to get worried and commonly say:
— Son, you're staying at home a lot, you only go out to work. You should go out with friends to have fun, have some fun with your head.
But when the opposite occurs, children who don't stop at home, from work go to meet friends, spend the weekends at parties and at friends' houses, parents have a different conversation:
— Son, stay at home for a while, you need to interact with your family, we are missing your presence.
Before the pandemic, conversations like these happened frequently, in which parents advised their children to seek the middle path, without extremes. And now, parents living with single children full-time every day, how are those relationships?
I've heard children say that elderly parents don't respect the rules of quarantine and want to leave the house unnecessarily and often, generating heated discussions about the subject, stress and worries for the children. Has this son switched roles with his parents? And the parents also reversed their positions, went to the place of “small children” needing to be guided by the “parents”?
In another conflict are the single children who live alone and regret that their parents constantly call to make sure that the child is at home strictly complying with forty:
“They treat me like I'm a child, not sure what to do. Let go of a child.
Whether you are single and living with your parents or in your own home, the least thing you want right now is to increase the stress level with arguments within the family. Since negative thoughts and feelings create chemical messengers that travel through the body and affect the organs and immune system, they can cause harm to the physical body as well as others.
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- Understand what to do to strengthen the bond between parents and children
- Learn why you shouldn't punish your kids for their behavior
- Evaluate how parent-child relationships work
And how to live in a healthy way? At least most of the time.
According to the family constellation, when each member of the family system plays its role, it takes its rightful place, there is order — the child in the role of the child and the parents in the place of the parents. If clutter is stressful and can lead to chaos, order helps life flow in a healthy way.
A single adult child, living with his parents, needs to behave like an adult who takes care of his own life, but without becoming the “father” of the parents. If this relationship is very conflicting, how about starting to think about flying from that nest? To be grateful for such service he had, but now as an adult, create his own nest.
What about when the child is already in its own nest, but the parents don't seem to believe that it is capable of flying alone? These parents seem to be entangled with the past, with their parents or their family system.
Sit at the table in your place, just like in life, stay in your place of strength and exercise your function. Focus on yourself to stay in your place and be aware, if someone intends to change places with you, they will soon notice. Practice conscious breathing, meditate, decrease judgments, be grateful for your family, your history and the single phase. Connect with your inner strength and live intensely, but in a balanced way.
