Sometimes you're in the middle of a problem and the solution just doesn't show up. You try and try and you can't do anything about it. That's when a voice comes in your head and starts talking about how you were incapable and can't be useful. Self-criticism can be an ally or an enemy. It all depends on how you are dealing with it..
If, on the one hand, it helps us get out of our comfort zone and seek challenges that make us grow as people, on the other hand, it can be too hard and destroy our self-esteem. If you charge yourself too little, you can become lazy. But if you push yourself too much, you can become a bore and reach exhaustion. The secret is to find balance.
To find balance, try to do an exercise in perception and self-knowledge. Stop for a few minutes and go to a quiet place. Start reflecting and try to find the causes of your self-criticism. For it is no use trying to eliminate the effects, if the causes are still tormenting. Ask yourself this question and be honest: “Why do I charge myself so much?”.
Some other questions can help you find an answer: “Am I charging myself to achieve a goal that is mine or that comes from other people?”, “My criticism is because of what I do or because I compare my results with other people?”, “Is my dissatisfaction within the reality of what I can really achieve?”.
When self-criticism arises, ask yourself: "are these thoughts and demands encouraging me and moving me forward or are they putting me down and discouraging me?". Let these inner criticisms serve to lift you up. Use them as fuel for you to take the necessary actions to give your best. But always healthy. Know your limits and learn to charge yourself within their reality.
The truth is, you can achieve anything you want in life.. Cover yourself with it. But know that this charge will only work as long as it is being done in a balanced way.
Text written by Ricardo Sturk from the Eu Sem Fronteiras Team.
