“It's what happens when you're with a person. You love her and she knows it. She loves you and you know it. But you're at a party, talking to other people. You are laughing and glowing. And then you scan the room with your eyes and meet that person's eyes. Not because you are possessive, not because it has a precisely sexual connotation… it's because that person is your life. And this is strange and sad, but only because life will end one day, and because this secret universe that exists between you, in this place, cannot be perceived by anyone else. It's like when someone says there are other dimensions around us, but we can't see them. And that's what I want from a relationship. Or just life, I guess.”
Although Frances hasn't found the reciprocal love she described, she knows exactly what it should be like. Complicity, harmony, respect and union are implied in the connection between looks and in the belief that the feeling between people who love each other can only be understood by them, as if they inhabited another reality.
A reciprocity is built when a relationship is based on the equivalent feelings that one person has for the other. There is no formula to identify how reciprocal a feeling is, but one way to feel this connection is to realize that it is not possible to explain how much you love someone.
It is through trust, mainly, that reciprocity is manifested. One person trusts that the other loves them and that they have the same feelings for each other. It's trusting your own secrets and your own life to those who do the same for you. A reciprocal love is not possessive, jealous, controlling or aggressive.
A person may believe that he loves someone very much. She may have every reason to love this other person and want to spend her whole life by her side. However, it is necessary for this other person to feel the same way for her. There are some signs that the love someone is experiencing is not reciprocal:
1) The person does not talk to the other when he has the opportunity to do so;
2) Encounters are frequently canceled, or run poorly;
3) The jealousy that one person feels for the other ends up stifling the individual freedom of one of the people in the relationship;
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4) Emotional blackmail is used as a ruse to make the other person comply with any wish, even if he doesn't want to;
5) Discussions with verbal, physical or psychological aggression end with the promise that they will never happen again;
6) One of the people does not show any kind of care, attention or respect for the other;
7) The person threatens to end the relationship for futile reasons, making the other feel insufficient and replaceable;
8) A person is afraid of who he has a relationship with, because he believes that any attitude can lead to a disagreement;
9) Only one of the people makes an effort to ensure that the relationship is always respectful, harmonious and united;
10) A person needs to try to remember, often, why he is in that relationship.
Often, a relationship can start out as a reciprocal love and only then fall apart. It is important to note the details of each relationship and always focus on the present. What happened in the past is only a memory, it does not reflect the reality of the passage of time.
As difficult as it is to leave a person with whom there are so many memories and for whom you have nurtured so much affection and love, it is necessary to free yourself from a relationship without reciprocity. All people deserve reciprocal love, with respect, loyalty, trust, understanding, and of course, lots of love.
