Positive thinking has been cheered for a long time. They say it is the basis for the success of any endeavor, and for a happy life! What if I told you that positive thinking is useless? You will probably call me crazy, say that I don't understand anything about the human mind, that I'm skeptical and so on. Calm!
Analyze with me, imagine any important situation in your life, a job interview for example. Well, if you are a fan of positive thoughts, you will probably think like this:
- I will get it right!
- I have to stay optimistic!
- I know it will work!
- God will help me!
When we think like this, we are actually wanting to deceive ourselves about the huge amount of negative and automatic thoughts that, inevitably, I have already "thought".
When I have to think that “it will work”, it's because I think it might not work and it really might not work. So, how is it, how are you going to deal with it? Disguise, try to pretend that this fear doesn't exist, I assure you, It's not the way!
Fear is an inherent feeling in human beings, it is normal for it to appear and bring us thoughts that cause us discomfort, or inappropriate behaviors that can act as an impediment to various situations in our lives.
Are you prepared for the no?
This is where functional thinking comes in. The possibility of “no” always exists, in the proportion of 50% for yes, and 50% for no. Using the “positive” thinking you know will not help you at all, it will only make your anxiety increase, because it will prepare you very well for yes. You may even have momentary relief, but soon you will return to “negative” thinking or more properly we will call it "dysfunctional".
So let's do the right thing, what will truly help you? We need good thoughts to have good feelings and great behaviors that will lead you to great achievements in your life.
To have good thoughts, we need to have the courage to face and “exorcise” the automatic thoughts of fear!
We need to have the courage to look at the situation as it is and analyze all the good possibilities and especially the bad ones!
This does not mean surrendering to pessimism, but facing the situation with intelligence, strength and will. If you are afraid, assume you are afraid. Surround it! Have you ever heard that to defeat the enemy you have to know him? Yes, like a good tactician in battle.
Let's go back to the example and, learn once and for all to have “functional” thoughts?
We have to surround the situation from all sides and have a good way out for all the questions, which will guarantee the continuity of optimism.
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Surrounding the situation
Remember the example of the job interview?
Question: Is there a possibility that I will not be approved?
Answer: Yes, of course there is, there is a 50% chance for yes and 50% chance for no.
Question: But what is the probability, that is, how much do I think I have a chance, taking into account my qualifications and my performance in the interview?
Answer: My CV is good, my experience is great. In the interview I felt confident. Taking into account other interviews I've done and been successful, I think this one was pretty average. So I believe that the probability of me being approved is 80%.
Question: And if I'm not called, that is, if the 20% chance of failure prevails, what's the worst that can happen?
Answer: The worst will be, I have to keep sending my resumes and wait a little longer. In the meantime, I'm going to look for tips on how to organize my financial life and not have problems until I find another job. I can also do research and find free courses and lectures to improve my technical knowledge more and more. There's still the possibility for me to learn something new to do, and earn a little money while I wait for the day of my replacement.
This is true functional thinking, the one that makes you face your ghosts and realize that you can beat them.
When you have a thought like that, you are taking control of your life, you are taking control of your future, of your dreams!
