And after a cloudy, painful period, full of doubts and disappointments, I fell in love again and my life took on a new color! What if I'm knowing how to deal with it? Of course!
The fact is, since I got divorced, my love life hasn't been all that beautiful. I collected some frustrations, shed a bunch of tears, wanted to turn princes into frogs and almost ended up being devoured like a fly. But, of course, from the point of view of the glass always half full, if it wasn't for this shit I've lived through these last 4 years, maybe I wouldn't be able to identify everything that's going on with me now.
we submit ourselves to unworthy relationships without realizing it or even realizing it and we block our ability to see people as they really are, creating in our heads versions that we would like them to be. I could say that I'm not ashamed, but I do have to admit that all this happened to me, especially in this last year. I don't know if it was the age I was getting, seeing all my friends in pairs, lack or really the desire to have someone to share my life with, but everything I mentioned above happened to me.I got involved in an abusive relationship and, even though I was aware of it, I relativized everything the guy did. I considered turning a “colorful friend” into a relationship, even though I knew that. as much as the hours we spent together from time to time were always amazing, our vision of the future and for life are totally opposite and any attempt would be doomed to failure. And, of course, I praised the qualities of a great guy I met, in the power raised to a thousand. You know when we put an X on the caboclo's forehead and say to ourselves: “it has to be him!”, so who never? lol
Until exhausted, give up. Seriously, I was very sad, disappointed and decided to take a break… And like those cliché stories… It happened!!!!! (background music and lights on the fountain lol).
He slowly arrived and, when he got the opportunity, he invaded me in such a crazy way, I'm dizzy even now! I don't know how to explain it, I don't know why, but since the day I met him, it's been as if my vision has blurred about everything connected with my previous relational experiences were becoming clear, as if I could now identify and understand most of my previous love affairs.
At this moment, you must be thinking: “Wow, Carol, what a trip, hold on dear, you're exaggerating!”.
What I can say is that I'm not! But of course it's pretty crazy. So crazy that I question myself all the time, so crazy that sometimes fear speaks louder, so crazy that I have physical reactions like arrhythmia, dry mouth and stomach pain when I think about it too much. And he knows that, because it's energy, and as much as I want to pretend that everything is fine, my lack of control is clear... But this is one of the symptoms of passion, right?!
You know that thing co-creation that I always talk about in my texts? It is true and, finally, it is working in the affective field (up to now I had already co-created a lot of professional stuff, but the personal was still not happening). These times ago I made my dream map (I teach how to do it in the article that will be at the end of this text) and I described the person I wanted for my life, and everything I ever wanted he has! “Bro from the sky!”, how crazy! lol
I don't know what will happen from now on, if we will stay together, if we will form the traditional Spanish family, if we will form our own family pattern, if we will live our story for another month, a year or a lifetime. What matters is that I am happy today and that I am truly grateful to God and the Universe for being able to experience this feeling. Man, this is being alive and that's what we came to this plane for, to live and evolve with our experiences.
And for you who, like me yesterday, really want to live a great passion, believe me! Believe in yourself and what you want and make the Dream Map. It is a powerful tool that will be able to help you a lot!
And to you, my beautiful, thank you for being who you are, just the way you are. I heard a phrase the other day that I loved and it has total synergy with this moment of ours, it's more or less like this: "I love what I know about you and I trust what I still don't know!". I just wish us a beautiful walk! After all, shared happiness is always multiplied.
Learn how to make your dream map!
Namaste!
