There are times in life when we feel rightly unhappy: an illness in the family, unemployment, depression, death, divorce, or any other misfortune.
At other times, however, everything seems to be perfect: we have a house, a job, a partner who cares, health – except that inside we are dissatisfied. And then, in addition to feeling unhappy, there is guilt for feeling that way. After all, we are lucky to have a roof over our heads.
If you've ever tried to exercise your faith or gratitude and it didn't work, maybe science has an explanation for it: you may be feeling unhappy for an evolutionary issue.
Ever heard of hedonic adaptation of happiness?
Scientists have discovered that happiness doesn't last long. If you want a car, to give a more basic example, that "happiness" it will last as long as the novelty lasts: the smell again, telling someone that you will be thrilled with your conquest, and then it will become a normal thing. That is, positive emotions from a positive situation tend to decline over time. And here comes the evolutionary question: the brain begins to want “another” novelty, which will prevent it from always being accommodated in a comfortable situation.
Another type of hedonic adaptation is to try to stimulate the duration of positive emotions by aspiring to a positive situation. In fact, we use this in coaching so that the client is always encouraged to seek his goals.
Imagine that, if it weren't for this impulse, we wouldn't be driven to improve: seeking our purpose, for example, would be the exception, because as long as we had a stable job, everything would be solved. Looking for a partner and starting a family? For what? “I'm so fine.” We would end up resigning ourselves to what is bad.
The solution?
According to these same scientists, it ranges from abstaining from what gives pleasure to increase that same pleasure (example: stop eating chocolate so that when you do it is really special), through listening to positive music, to lowering your aspirations.
My favorite, however, is the one that talks about trying to keep the happiness brought by a novelty by optimizing it. In other words, don't let a situation fall into the rut. In the case of a relationship, for example, it is easy to think about how to do it.
In the case of well-being brought by the purchase of a material asset, such as a house, we can think about renovating the decoration in an antique store or making good use of it: throwing parties, hosting a barbecue, moving the furniture, set up a meditation corner, turn one of the rooms into a studio, do a little renovation. As for the car, it can be used to explore new places every weekend (which, moreover, will renew your relationship).
The important thing is to keep a positive attitude and enjoy the journey as you go after achievements!
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