Impulsivity, when negative, is an unforeseen, instinctive behavioral response, therefore, not rationalized and disproportionate to a given environmental event, perceived as a stressor, which can bring harm to personal, relational and social life, and is usually followed by regret. Impulsivity is related to the difficulty in postponing the gratification of something, satisfying immediate pleasure, therefore, to the detriment of a greater good for the individual or even for the group.
In the 70s, psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University, carried out the famous Marshmallow experiment. It consisted of leaving the child alone in a room where he was offered a marshmallow. The rule was based on the following aspect: “If the child did not eat the candy, within 20 minutes, he would get two candies”. This experiment evaluated the ability to delay momentary gratification for the sake of something better in the future. Walter concluded, after a few years, that the children who delayed gratification by controlling the impulse to eat candy were exactly those who had the highest academic and social performance, showing that the control of impulsivity is directly related to quality of life.
In other words, we act against ourselves, we shoot ourselves in the foot. After an act of impulsiveness, regret almost always comes, but the attitude has already been taken, the word has already been said and the damage has already been done, and there is no way to go back. For this reason, it is necessary to discern the difference between negative impulsiveness and authenticity, spontaneity or even sincerity, as they are very different things.
We all exhibit a certain degree of impulsiveness, this behavior being fundamentally protective, but when balanced. This is because our emotional behaviors were phylogenetically selected for our survival. They feature functionality, not just by chance. I will cite fear as an example, an emotion often seen as negative. Fear, in the right measure, has a protective function, because without it we could compromise our lives. On the other hand, this same fear, when exacerbated, runs away from this protection proposal, causing disorders, causing panic and putting a brake on life.
Being a dysfunctional emotion, negative impulsiveness can damage relationships as well as being the source of much social harm and personal suffering in all areas of life. For this reason, people who present this behavioral pattern are more likely to not complete what they planned, to sabotage their diet, to enter into pathological games, addictions and risk situations in general.
As everything has both sides of the coin, impulsiveness also has its positive side, always supporting the proposal of balance and based on assertive behaviors. Impulsive behavior motivates and encourages us in the pursuit and execution of our projects, our accomplishments and achievements. However, the keyword "balance" must never be forgotten.
To reflect
By acting with parsimony and tolerance, a life is saved, a heated argument is avoided, fewer people are physically and verbally attacked, and many evil arrows will no longer be released. We need to learn to postpone the reward, to have the patience to wait for the right moment to act, always based on discernment.
