Evidently, for this to happen, it is necessary to have an open mind and heart to deal with our human imperfections and, above all, accept them. Only then, through acceptance, is it possible to modify some behavioral pattern.
During our journey, events that bring frustrations or some deviations from the path of our plans will challenge us and often condition our attitude towards future confrontations.
Depending on the size of this challenge, it may be that the vision becomes a little blurred and adopts a pessimistic or victimized lens on life and its events.
There are people who take this path unconsciously or simply for lack of resources to help them overcome the necessary stages for their personal evolution, I don't blame them.
life demands a lot of courage and it is neither shameful nor disabling to cower sometimes. This is also part of our transformative process.
However, there are many, and I include myself here, who at this point become extremely boring people.
Whether because of the pattern of denial in the face of life, in which any subject has no validity, or for all the ills you insist that everyone, even everyone, from the doorman to the pizza delivery man, knows, either because of the constant bad mood or the inconvenient joy, of those exaggerated and out of place.
It took me a long time to realize that whoever behaves like this, invariably and regardless of the pattern, is looking for the same thing: affection, attention and acceptance.
Above all, people who victimize themselves, who do not take positive initiatives to solve their problems and who systematically complain about everything and everyone.
These are the ones that most need care, as they don't realize, in this whirlwind of emotion, that their behavior, instead of bringing people together as they wish, only pushes them away; actually repels.
Few people have the patience to listen to constant regrets and misfortunes, because few people perceive themselves in this process to the point of feel empathy, and I believe we all go through this at some point in our lives.
When they realize the damaged relationships, a new pattern is established: these people who are truly in need of attention and care are silent, since in their perception no one is able to understand them, which reinforces their view of unpleasantness and loneliness. Right way to an increasingly common serious problem called depression.
This process makes us boring. And here I mean the literal sense of the word: we become shallow, flat, without depth, and where there is no depth, nothing fits… Not even people around.
Realizing in ourselves that certain patterns of behavior are unpleasant, but are an attempt to get attention requires an often cruel self-criticism and we will almost always find justifications for deviating from this lucidity.
It will not be uncommon to need professional help, a lot of willpower and compassion (not self-pity) to first be acquitted by our own judgment.
At this stage of understanding, life will continue to present the same problems, but the need for attention will be fulfilled in a more emotionally healthy way.
When we reach that point, we go from boring to wide, deep, more pleasant, safe and happy.
Aware of our needs and our inner strength, we will have reached the attention of those we most need to go through life: our own.
