In raising children, parents have to have the courage to do whatever it takes to give their children the chance to mature properly, but this is not always easy.
Life clipping of Clarice and Júlia (1):
“My daughter was 15 when I had to enroll her in boarding school outside of town. She couldn't take any more arguing, trying to set limits and fighting. I didn't have time to keep up with so many changes. She had separated me from her father a little over a year and a half ago, I was finishing my master's degree and my work schedule was hectic. What felt like the complete end of a healthy mother-daughter relationship became a healing possibility for both of us.
She was drinking and doing drugs, I didn't see meaning in life. I was tired, yet aware of what I should do.
How did we get to this? One weekend when the grandparents were at home visiting us, she lied to me saying she was waiting for her father to come pick her up. She went to a party, she drank, felt sick at dawn and called her father. I only found out about it the next day. That's when I realized that I no longer had control of the situation as it presented itself..
I decided on boarding school. We were already in the second semester. I searched for information, spent all morning looking for answers. When she arrived in the afternoon, I broke the news. She started to cry, angry. I didn't allow her to express herself too much, I reminded her that she lied and did what she did.
It didn't take long to adapt to school, but she insisted on increasing the difficulties and playing the victim so that I felt guilty. Her friends were scandalized and mine were amazed. Every time I went to visit her at the boarding school, my heart sank when I saw the small room, shared with 3 other people, bunk beds and shared bathroom. It was a contrast to the bedroom at home, which had just been renovated, painted in her favorite color, and used only by her.
Gradually, our contact improved and we talked more. I told myself, as I drove home, that all this was necessary. I was sure it was the best thing to do at that moment. On the other hand, I began to see her making friends with other teenagers, different from the friends she had before. The school was very varied, many had always wanted to go there and others even had scholarships to study. This diversity was good and broadened his life experience.
The experience lasted a year and a half. When it came time to enroll in the 3rd year of high school, we talked a lot and she returned to the city, but to a smaller school, with fewer opportunities for distraction.
She was very happy for the opportunity to return home and changed her behavior from that year.
Two years later, already in college, she thanked me for the decision, because she learned to value herself, her family and the people who really care about her. She recognized that she was very lost in her teens and that she understood that I had no better option. Today, as an adult and dealing with people on a daily basis, she always jokes that parents don't know how to educate their children and that I need to tell them how to do it.
(1) Fictitious names.
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