Relationships are not easy, that's a basic premise. Every kind of relationship deserves a good dose of care, attention and dedication in order for it to develop. When we choose the people we are going to relate to, the recipe seems easy. But what if we talk about family relationships? Yes, these people who live in the same house, share the same table at mealtimes, fight over the control of the TV and the wi-fi signal.
How to deal when we don't choose relationship partners, and they aren't very similar to us? It may seem like an impossible task, but we guarantee that living in harmony is possible. Just pay attention to the tips below and get to work:
Keep your growth in mind
There are those who say that we chose our family before coming into the world, it would be a kind of test that we would have to go through for our spirit to grow. Leaving beliefs aside, the fact is that, overwhelmingly, difficult people cross our path to make us learn to deal with a certain situation. If this happens in your family, then it is a fact that you should find over the days, months and probably years a better way to face this personality. Think that that person, with whom you have an almost mandatory coexistence, is there for some reason. Today you may not see exactly why you have to go through this, but one day it will probably make sense.
Do your part
Being family is being present, having someone to count on and having friends and unconditional love, right? In parts. This is, at least, what we grew up believing to be true by society's imposition. However, family often means sharing ties, but not necessarily having affinity. Do what you can, but you don't have to force yourself into situations where you don't feel right.
have empathy
It's no use playing the victim and acting as if only you suffer from this situation. If you think your father is a difficult person, have you ever stopped to think that he probably doesn't find your personality easy to deal with either? Do your best to see the situation from the other side and think about what it can help you with.
Be aware of your actions
Know that every action you take will have a reaction. So, try to study the best way to relate to these family members and adapt in the most viable way. It's not because you are from the same family that you need to be best friends, often, the minimum of harmony and a good dose of respect are enough.
Don't expect changes from others
Creating unfounded expectations that your family members will change to make living together easier is as absurd as shooting yourself in the foot. People only change of their own volition and nothing you say or do will change that. If you want change, plant and wait for change in yourself, in your actions and in the way you face the relationship.
Set an example!
A good way to show people what we feel, think and believe is to act on these principles. If you want a more harmonious family relationship, show it. Reinforce your self-control and spread peace throughout your house and on that Sunday lunch with all the cousins and uncles.
Another alternative that can help you is to do Family Therapy. Were you curious? Check out more on the website.
Text written by Roberta Lopes from the Eu Sem Fronteiras Team
