Self-esteem is the negative or positive perception that the individual acquires of himself when he is aware of his acts, his behavior, his way of being. For the father of psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud, self-esteem is related to the ego.
It is fundamental to the physical and mental health of any individual, because from the perception we have of ourselves, we generate feelings that can be beneficial or harmful to our mental health and quality of life as a whole.
Self-esteem reflects the acceptance we have of ourselves. If, for some reason, this acceptance is negative, we will harbor inferiority thoughts, which will affect our confidence and encourage overly rigid self-criticism, self-censorship, self-boycott.
There are also consequences at the other extreme, when the individual acquires an overestimated perception of himself and develops what we know as narcissism or assumes a selfish posture.
Both extremes are not desirable, as they often have negative consequences. The feeling of inferiority prevents the individual from exploring all his potential, letting opportunities pass and resigning himself to a mediocre life.
The excessive feeling of superiority tends to feed many conflicts, cause separations, lead to a fanciful perception of reality and cause great falls.
In a society marked by social inequality, economic crisis, unemployment and violence, I believe that it is not absurd to suppose that the feeling of inferiority, low self-esteem, prevails in our times.
Therefore, my focus in this article will be to give some tips, from my experiences in the office and my studies, on how to improve self-esteem. What thoughts and attitudes might be helpful to a person with a negative self-perception?
But before answering this question, I take the opportunity to clarify another question that usually generates many doubts.
What is the difference between self-esteem and self-love?
Many think that they are the same thing, that is, that they are synonymous terms, but this is a mistake.
Basically, the difference between self-esteem and self-love is that the former is a quality and the latter is a feeling.
As we have seen, self-esteem is an evaluation of one's own image that can be positive or negative.
When a person has good self-esteem, accepts himself the way he is, has confidence in himself, it can be said that this is a good quality. After all, not everyone enjoys a good perception of their own image or has all their internal issues resolved.
Being well with yourself in a life full of difficulties and challenges is undoubtedly a quality.
The same for the opposite side. A distorted and exaggeratedly unfavorable view of oneself is a quality, but a negative one, as it indicates that the person still does not have the internal conditions to judge himself according to reality.
Self-love, on the other hand, is a feeling of esteem, dignity or respect that each person has for their person. Regardless of the view that the individual has about his personality or way of being, he may even think he could be better, he likes what he likes, he loves himself with all his supposed defects and qualities.
Tips to improve self-esteem
High self-esteem is synonymous with strength, resistance to adverse situations. But when it is not high, what can be done to elevate it? What would be good practices to raise self-esteem?
Without guilt
The first step is to eliminate the feeling of guilt. This feeling is one of the main reasons for lowering self-esteem. The constant guilt for not doing something or having done something we shouldn't, the idea of being blamed for the life you lead.
Enough of clinging to the past. Think that you are free to do whatever you want, including what you know has to be done. Think that every minute presents an opportunity for change.
Exchange the feeling for what you did or should do for the good expectation of starting to make a new beginning.
The bottom line is: feeding feelings of guilt will do nothing to raise self-esteem.
enough comparisons
We have a habit of comparing ourselves to others, very stimulated by a logic of competitiveness present in our society. But to measure your success by the success of others is to cultivate frustrations.
Each being is endowed with experiences and a unique trajectory. One person's ideal of happiness does not necessarily correspond to the other's ideal of happiness.
Life has no basis for comparison: do what makes you happy, what makes you feel good.
Do you want to be the new manager because you think you have the conditions, qualities, aptitudes to perform this position or because you understand that the ideal of success disseminated in society is to exercise a leadership position?
Accept yourself the way you are, fight for the achievements you want without looking at the neighbor's lawn. It is you who must establish your ideal of fulfillment and happiness.
The future (not always) repeats the past
A limiting belief that contributes to maintaining low self-esteem is the idea that, because of having failed in the past, having had bad experiences, the episode will reoccur.
Don't let that perception imprison you, inhibit you from stepping back into the picture, trying again. Just because things didn't work out in the past doesn't mean they will happen again in the same way.
Things change, you change, you develop new skills, you acquire a new view of the world and things. Nothing repeats itself like the past.
Forgive yourself
You know: to err is human and if you forgive the mistakes of others, why not forgive your own?
Develop a compassionate eye for your actions. It doesn't mean to stop charging yourself, but not to face any mistake you make as something unforgivable, because failing to fail is impossible. It's part of human nature.
seek self-knowledge
Another way to improve your self-esteem is to understand what works for you. What makes you feel more self-confident? Learn something new? Sing? Do something you already like? Practice physical exercises?
Knowing yourself is essential for you to understand what helps you feel better and thus overcome moments of crisis, to have new ideas, to re-energize your batteries.
- Self-esteem: one of the best ways for everything to start working out
- Steps to improve your self-esteem
- Understand what it really means to have self-esteem
- Understand the importance of practicing self-love
- Train your brain to love unconditionally
If you have trouble understanding your tastes, what you really want, what makes you feel better, professional support will undoubtedly be able to provide you with adequate support.
Psychologists and hypnotherapists are the most suitable for working on internal issues, examining the past, meaning it and resignifying it for a future free of limiting beliefs.
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