“He's like a member of the family,” some say of their pets. And the truth is that many pets are so deeply embedded in our lives that they are not “like part of the family”, but a true part of it.
So, when we go through the painful experience of seeing a pet die that we love so much and that we care for so lovingly, our hearts are filled with sadness, just as if it had been with one of the people we love and who is part of our family.
How to deal with the death of a pet? We have prepared an article with some tips and advice to get through this moment in the least traumatic way possible. Check out!
Fighting for an animal is no exaggeration
Many people, especially those who don't have much connection with pets, tend to disdain those who give too much attention or love to a pet and also those who suffer a lot when these little creatures die. But the truth is that these people are wrong, who probably could never give and receive the pure love that only an animal is capable of providing.
Hearing phrases like “It was just a dog”, “Adopt another cat” or “At least, now, the expenses will decrease, right?” can hurt a lot someone who is missing their animal companion. At this point, don't be around people who think like that and say things like that if you're the one who's grieving. Just as each person has a personality, so do animals. So it's not just "adopting another", right?
No, grieving a pet is no exaggeration. Often, it can even take months or years, depending on the connection between the tutor and the pet. “In most cases, the animal represents a member of the family. I have already dealt with situations in which the person lived only with the pet and, after the loss, went into depression, because loneliness took the place of that animal. And there are still cases in which the pet was the first loss that the person faced in life, and she did not know how to react to the feeling”, explained psychologist Sirlene Ferreira, in an interview with the newspaper “Metrópoles”.
According to her, it is essential for the person to talk about this loss, if they feel like it, and to surround themselves with loved ones. In addition, depending on her bond with the animal that died, it is also essential to seek therapy to talk about the consequences and depth of this grief.
8 tips for dealing with grief after the loss of a pet
No, it won't be easy to go through this phase, but grief is inevitable whenever we lose someone in our lives, even if it's a pet - or it would be more correct to say: especially when we lose a pet, who usually donate to us pure love and dedication and with no malice.
To help ease the depression and melancholy that come with this phase of your pet's grief, we've prepared a list of 8 tips that can help you get through this difficult situation.
No, it won't be easy to go through this phase, but grief is inevitable whenever we lose someone in our lives, even if it's a pet - or it would be more correct to say: especially when we lose a pet, who usually donate to us pure love and dedication and with no malice.
To help ease the depression and melancholy that come with this phase of your pet's grief, we've prepared a list of 8 tips that can help you get through this difficult situation.
1. Don't pretend grief doesn't exist — if you're feeling sad about the loss of your pet, don't be ashamed of yourself and your feelings. Only you know the connection that existed between the two of you, so don't ignore the sadness you're feeling or decide to act as if it doesn't exist. Allow yourself to feel sad.
2. Avoid isolating yourself — in times of extreme sadness, we often feel like staying away from everything and everyone, avoiding social events and the presence of loved ones, but try not to do that. To combat the feeling of sadness, do the opposite: surround yourself with loved ones and allow them to help you through this difficult time of grief.
3. Ask for help — if you're feeling more sad than you can handle, or if you feel that the feeling of sadness and helplessness doesn't lessen as the weeks go by, seek help. Therapy is a good way to deal with everything that bothers us deeply, but you can look for a friend or loved one who is sensitive enough to understand how much your pet misses you.
4. Don't set deadlines — you are entitled to spend either a single sad day or a whole month. One of the worst characteristics of grief is that it reveals itself little by little. Even if you have already said goodbye to your little friend, it is in the course of the days that, at some point, you will miss him or that cute or funny thing he used to do. Allow yourself to feel as sad as you need to.
5. Let go, but calmly — Often, looking at the food dishes, litter boxes and toys that were scattered around the house can be quite painful. So, if you feel that this has been bad for you, try to collect all this and save or even donate to an NGO that is in need, but respect your time and make decisions calmly.
6. A new routine — the routine will never be the same again when we lose someone, including a pet, but little by little it will be necessary for you to start building a new routine, adapted to the absence of the pet that was so important to you. Give it time and adopt these new habits.
7. Do therapy — if dealing with the death of the little animal has been too heavy to bear alone, seek the help of a psychologist. Many people disdain the death of an animal, as if it were less important than with a human being, but the truth is that the comparison is impossible. If you're having trouble moving on, look for permanent help to get back into a healthier routine.
8. A new pet? — when you're feeling better and you're in your new routine, you may still miss a pet. So why not adopt a new one? There are thousands of pets in shelters and NGOs, all in need of the affection and attention of someone like you. So, how about taking good care of one more pet? But remember: adoption should be thought of as something permanent, so don't adopt a pet if you're not sure you'll be able to take care of it now and in the future.
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And when there is a child involved?
If, for adults, it is already difficult to understand, accept and deal with grief, things can be even more difficult when there is a child who was very connected to the animal. Therefore, it is necessary to have some extra care, especially since losing a pet in childhood can be the child's first experience with grief. Check out some additional care needed when a child in the family loses the animal.
1. Give her space — the child needs to be welcomed and given space to express how they feel. Don't diminish the feelings and longing she feels for the animal, and allow her to express herself as and as much as she wants.
2. There are no culprits — teaching the child that there is a cycle in which everyone is born, lives and dies is essential; otherwise, she may think that something could have been done to save the pet, which can make her suffer a lot.
3. It will pass — often, when it is the first experience with grief, the child can speak of that feeling as something that will never subside or go away. Then show her cases of people who lost animals and are now doing well. That might calm her down.
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4. Memories — if the child wants to keep photos, items, toys or other objects that resemble the departed animal, allow this to be done. Don't stop her from keeping good memories and memories of the pet that is gone.
5. Adopt a new one? — the ideal is to wait for the idea to arise from the child, because it can demonstrate that she has already dealt with the grief for the pet that has left. If she comes up with the idea, talk to her a lot to let her know that the next animal may be quite different from the last, but it will deserve just as much love as he does. If the idea comes from you, talk before adopting, to feel if she has already said goodbye to her departed little friend. Do not speed up processes.
Dealing with the death of an animal is as complex and painful as dealing with the departure of a loved one. So feeling sad is normal as there was a connection between you and your friend who is gone. Seek help if you are feeling very sad or if the melancholy lasts a long time and keep in mind that the pet is now resting, without suffering any more pain or discomfort. May the memories created by his side never be forgotten, and the love lasts forever!
