Feeling happy with yourself is one of the most liberating sensations we can live. Many times, we end up becoming emotionally dependent on people close to us, which can cause a feeling of loss when we are alone. In the last two years, we were forced to isolate ourselves, and in a challenging time for everyone, we had to embrace our insecurities and learn to live with ourselves.
Before we understand how spending time alone can make you happier, we need to clarify what happiness is. In the dictionary, happiness is the state of a fully satisfied consciousness, contentment and well-being.
The problem is that we put happiness on an almost unattainable pedestal, we link being happy with grandiose achievements and material goods. We almost make an appointment in our calendar, as if happiness is an event we can control. When, in fact, happiness is subtle, it occurs in everyday moments, like the wind blowing on our skin, an unexpected hug, or while we dance to that song we love.
Now, if happiness is so simple, why do we often distance ourselves from it? Or, even worse, do we believe that we don't deserve it, or that we will only achieve it when we have something or someone? Read on and find your own answers until the end of this text.
Is it possible to be happy alone?
The answer is only one: yes. However, the path to be followed involves a lot of self-knowledge and resilience. We are used to running away from our own company, to seeking outside what is essentially inside us.
Building your true self-esteem will give you the emotional independence you need to be totally happy on your own. When I talk about true self-esteem, I mean esteem for who you really are, and not just physical and material aspects. You will be happy alone as you build daily esteem for the person you are, contemplating all your qualities and flaws, after all, that's what makes you unique and special.
How not to depend on anyone to be happy?
Before anything else, you need to be clear that the only person responsible for your happiness is yourself, so you have the power to be fully happy. When we outsource our responsibility to be happy to others, we also give up our power to do it for ourselves. Understand that this pattern break does not happen overnight, it is built gradually, and each one will have their own journey.
There are many situations in which we stop believing that we will be happy without a certain person. Like when a relationship ends, or the loss of a loved one. But, yes, it is totally possible, you will need to learn to enjoy your own company, and by understanding that you have the control and responsibility to be happy, you will be able to perceive happiness where it lives: in the simple and simple moments of life.
Is it bad to be alone for a long time?
We are sociable beings by nature, living with people, especially those we love, makes us genuinely happy. Therefore, we must seek balance, between being happy alone and isolating ourselves from everything and everyone. Yes, it can be bad to be alone for a long time.
This breakdown of connections with people and places we frequent can be a sign of depression. Even if they are not direct encounters, try to visit places with more people, like going to a cafe, for example, or to the movies. Practice self-knowledge and realize if you are choosing to be alone and if you are okay with it, or if you are isolating yourself and running away from people. For the latter, seek professional help and also support from friends and family, if possible.
What is the difference between loneliness and solitude?
Loneliness is the feeling that arises when we find ourselves alone, without company, always accompanied by deep sadness and discouragement. Solitude, on the other hand, is when you choose to be alone and you feel totally fine with that choice. Do you realize how similar words, which portray the same reality, with a change in the person's perception, bring totally opposite meanings? This is because, as we said at the beginning of this text, we have the power and responsibility to be happy. So, as we change our perspective on reality, we can also change reality itself. In practice, being alone on a Friday night can be desperate or liberating, depending on your point of view.
Tips for being happy alone in practice
Like everything in this text and like happiness itself, there is no magic formula. You will have to exercise your perception, and on a daily basis, with self-knowledge and attention, you will discover what works and what makes you happy. Start with items on this list that you already have some affinity for, and just try to live them with more presence.
- Create rituals that arouse good feelings. How to have a leisurely breakfast and then take a relaxing bath while listening to your favorite playlist;
- Think of something you enjoy doing, but haven't done in a long time, or stopped doing because you don't want to do it alone. Like visiting a museum or going to dinner at a restaurant you like. Get back into that habit and feel the experience of doing it yourself. You will definitely be pleasantly surprised.
- Gastronomy has the power to bring happiness. Even if cooking isn't your strong point, invite yourself to dinner and make your best dish! It's even worth putting on that special outfit and preparing the environment.
- Have conversations with yourself, ask what your favorite hobbies are or what your favorite movie is. Self-knowledge is the main key to solitude.
- Reading is also an excellent habit for those who seek to build solitude, as we stay present and connected with ourselves. Make reading a pleasurable ritual, whether going to a place you like, or simply at the end of a day, when you lie down and relax.
You may also like
- Discover the difference between self-esteem and self-love
- Understand the importance of valuing every moment of life
- Solitude as an ally of evolution
- Behavior: Is it really impossible to be happy alone?
- See the bright side of being alone
And the most important tip of all is not to pursue happiness as if it were a big event. Feeling good about yourself is a daily exercise, so start with small actions and stay consistent. Soon you will experience the pleasure of being your best company and you will be fully happy with it, that is, you will feel solitude in your life daily.
