Contrary to what one might imagine, emotional incest is not exactly a situation related to sexuality, but it can even have implications for the development of this area, which can affect everyone involved in this plot.
Emotional incest is a dysfunctional way of loving that occurs in many families when, for example, a father exacerbates his relationship with his daughter to such an extent that she functions as if she were his wife. This can occur in the effective absence of the mother in the family environment, but not only, in many families, the parent can choose his golden child projecting his ideal woman in her.
In the same way as in other situations, there is room for the male child to replace the father's place, exercising his authority functions, dictating rules to be followed and so on.
This type of behavior affects children of both sexes, and one of the most discussed topics for this functioning to occur is the lack of limits given by both parents, the disconnection of the couple itself, the disconnection with the children and an automated life. more outward than inward. Within this bias, many parents end up being too permissive, allowing their children to sleep between the couple, far beyond measure and in a context that often activates even more the disconnection of the couple, promoting other types of unhealthy psychological connections.
In other situations, when a divorce occurs, due to the difficulty of dealing with the fragmented family, some parents seek to remake the imaginary of the ideal family, readapting a child to the role of husband, father or wife, mother.
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The younger the age, the more easily the mechanism of emotional incest syndrome will be installed. In certain cases, a parent projects onto a child the expectation that he or she can be the perfect husband or wife they didn't have. The problem to be seen is that children and adolescents have emotional needs related to their age and the weight of these demands usually have devastating consequences in the future emotional and affective life of these children. And even when they are still teenagers, not infrequently I receive in my office young people in severe depressive states, with a loss of interest in life, in studies and in everything that could help them in their independent adult life. They lose hope of being themselves for the arduous mission they have to replace their parents.
Another form of emotional incest also occurs when, invasively, parents enter and leave their children's physical intimacy, exercising their power of authority over them, not respecting their necessary moments of privacy, for example, entering and leaving their rooms as they please. bathrooms. Still exercising their supposed power of authority, even when the children are already in their teens, they surround them with caresses, allowing and inviting them to sleep together, all without the sex itself.
Actions that can confuse children into an uncomfortable secret, terrifying and unthinkable doubt about the intentionality of their own parents and of themselves.
Many children, due to family loyalty, do not dare to tell themselves what is happening and with that they develop through the emotional damage caused by this form of abuse, others wake up realizing that there is something very wrong in these relationships and try hard claim the legitimacy of one's own identity. In some cases, faced with questioning and attempts to impose limits, many of these parents manipulate the situation by inserting blame, accusing their children of being ungrateful and rejecting the love offered by them. And as one of the functions of parents is to build in their children the principle of objective reality, the discernment of what is right and what is wrong is quite confusing, even though the truth of the facts is evidence. Doing a competent therapeutic process on these occasions makes all the difference so that the rescue of internal resources and lucidity are activated.
The more awake, the better!
