Female orgasm. In a sexist and patriarchal society, this expression has the same weight as an expletive would. Isn't it difficult to imagine a world in which a woman manages to reach the peak of pleasure during every sexual relationship she has? Have you ever heard this subject being discussed openly between men and women or even among female friends?
Even though the female orgasm is a response of the woman's body to a pleasurable sexual activity, which can happen with a partner, with a partner or without company, society prefers to ignore that it exists, even recriminating it. After all, why should women feel pleasure during sex? The answer seems obvious, but the best way to analyze it is to understand a little more about what surrounds female sexuality.
The virginity myth
Have you ever heard a woman characterized as a “virgin”? Maybe even you've named yourself that way at some point in your life. A virgin woman, according to what society dictates, is a woman who has never had a sexual relationship.
Going further, we identify a heteronormative and sexist concept: a woman would only stop being a virgin with a sexual relationship with penetration of a penis, with all the blood and with all the pain that is expected from this act.
A woman who has never been involved with a man, but who has intercourse with or without penetration with women would still be perceived as a virgin by society. Weird is not it? Why could only a man initiate a woman sexually?
First of all, it is necessary to consider that the heterosexual relationship is the only one that has always been accepted in the world. So, it is natural that all concepts are created reinforcing the need to maintain this pattern, disregarding the possibility that there are other ways of loving. This explains heteronormativity, but still does not translate the concept of virginity.
In antiquity, the concept of a virgin woman was created to define the ideal women for marriage with men: they never had sexual relations, they preserve the purity and innocence of youth and they will give themselves completely to one man, with whom they will spend a lifetime. After marriage, however, they lose the most attractive feature they have, also losing their value in society.
Note how virginity is present even in Christianity, in the figure of the Virgin Mary, mother of Jesus Christ: biologically, a woman cannot become pregnant without having experienced sexual intercourse. However, so that the Church could disseminate the moral values of antiquity, that a woman would only have dignity and purity if she did not become sexually involved with anyone, they said that Mary, the woman chosen by God, gave birth without ever having had sex.
The entire construction of the female figure reinforces the idea that she is an object for men. She must serve him, give him pleasure, and have no will of her own. It is as if the woman's pleasure was not relevant in this relationship, since she is not a subject. In this context, female orgasm is not a possibility. It must be repressed, because only man matters.
Considering all these issues, does it make sense to continue using the term “virginity”, which classifies women as pure and non-pure and which represses female pleasure, to refer to a woman who has not yet had sexual intercourse? Reflect on the weight that this term carries!
the unattainable pleasure
Have you ever noticed that male orgasm is a rule in any sexual relationship? A man will necessarily come during sex and, normally, this act will define the moment to end the relationship, regardless of whether the woman has reached orgasm or not. In addition to being heteronormative, this concept disregards the woman's participation in sexual intercourse, as if she were there only for the man to have a means of reaching orgasm.
If women believe that sex is just a way to satisfy a partner, disregarding their own will or the possibility of getting involved with other women, for example, female orgasm will be unattainable. It is difficult to break free from this concept, because it is taught to them from the moment they are born, but it is necessary to go beyond that.
Alone or accompanied, a woman has the right to feel an orgasm. Unlike a man, she can even experience several orgasms at the same time. Did you know that? Next, learn what types of female orgasm are!
Types of female orgasm
A woman does not need to have penetrative sex to reach orgasm. There are erogenous parts in many parts of the female body. Meet them below!
1) Clitoral orgasm
The female clitoral orgasm happens from the stimulation of the clitoris, which occupies the lower and outer parts of the vulva, being visible as a little ball. It can be stimulated from the outside with the fingers or with the tongue and can be touched from the inside with the fingers, reaching the G-spot.
2) G-spot
The G-spot is an internal region of the vagina that, when stimulated correctly, can cause intense pleasure in a woman. There are vibrators that can be used to reach this point, which can also be accessed by performing the “come here” movement with the index finger positioned inside the vaginal canal.
3) vaginal orgasm
The female vaginal orgasm happens when an object, a finger or a penis manages to reach the deepest part of the vagina. It is not enough to touch there, it is necessary to press and maintain the rhythm, to stimulate the area and, thus, generate pleasure in a woman.
4) U point
Lesser known than the G-spot, the U-spot is located on the outside of the vulva region, in the urethra (where urine is released), between the clitoris and the entrance to the vaginal canal. This region is very sensitive and can be stimulated during sex, with the fingers or with the tongue.
5) Anal orgasm
The female anal orgasm is the most difficult to achieve, but it is possible. As the anus is a region with many nerve endings, by stimulating it a woman can reach the peak of pleasure. Importantly, anal sex shouldn't be painful, so if you're considering doing it, make sure you're using a good water-based lubricant and have a patient companion. .
6) Breast orgasm
A woman's breasts are an erogenous region that can be stimulated for a woman to reach orgasm. They can be touched, licked or sucked to stimulate the area and make the woman even more excited. In addition, it is possible to dare and stimulate breasts and other regions at the same time, to reach a multiple female orgasm!
orgasms for all
Now that you know the types of female orgasm, reflect: does it make sense to fake an orgasm to satisfy a person who doesn't understand very well how to give you pleasure or you don't care about it?
It's hard to let go of the idea that pleasure doesn't have to be achieved by both people, but avoid lying to the other person about how you feel. The only way for her to know she is doing something that she can improve is through dialogue. If you don't feel free to talk about it with her, maybe it's better to look for another partner!
Being sexually involved with men is not the only way to achieve female orgasm. In addition to masturbation, through which you pleasure yourself, it is possible to give in to your desires. If you are attracted to women or want to have sex with one to know what that experience is like, do it! Don't let your pleasure be guided by outdated concepts of how a woman should act or feel.
All women can have orgasms. If the person you are in a relationship with doesn't know how to pleasure you or if you can't reach an orgasm on your own, all you need is dialogue and self-knowledge. Understand what your erogenous zones are, what your favorite orgasms are and what is the best way to achieve it.
Masturbation is very important in the process of getting to know your body and achieving a female orgasm, because only then will you understand what your rules are, which stimuli work best for your body and how it is possible to feel the fireworks exploding around you. around you at the height of pleasure.
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free yourself from taboos
If you're still not convinced that it's important to dedicate yourself to your orgasm, think about the benefits that peak pleasure can bring you. The first of these is the feeling of relaxation and happiness that serotonin spreads throughout your body when it is released during orgasm.
In addition, female orgasm is a great way to alleviate migraine attacks and menstrual cramps, precisely because of the hormones that are released at the height of pleasure. To top it off, an orgasm can make you sleep much better and faster, as your body will be totally relaxed.
Venture through your body with masturbation and with a person you trust. Touch your intimate areas, stimulate yourself with vibrators or with your fingers, read stories that stimulate your imagination or recall memories of moments of intense pleasure. Allow yourself to have a female orgasm, and if all goes well, you might even have multiple orgasms!
