We often understand that to exclude is to take from life, to ignore, but there is a much more subliminal language of exclusion that we need to bring to consciousness in order to include.
Anger: every time I feel angry, I realize that behind the anger there is a desire for the other to do as I want him to be and not as he is, so I am excluding, judging how he works and putting myself as great, better than him.
Pain. Here comes a question: is this pain not my angry child because life is not as it is?
Pain of separation from not understanding that that person needs to fly, grow, evolve?
Pain because I want to imprison like a bird in a cage?
Judgment that I excluded, when I decided not to eat meat anymore, for example, and I think the other has to do the same, or why doesn't he do what I, the JUDGE, decided is right?
And the desire to control, alas, alas! How much energy we waste when the other has to do what we want! From why you didn't kiss me, to the gift I wanted, you're not in the mood to date when I want, me, me, me...
And prejudice, then!? Wow, this is so subliminal! It hides behind attitudes we take without realizing it, prejudice because of social class, prejudice because it has nothing to offer me, prejudice because it's from that religion, prejudice because it's fat, thin, af! This one is so big, I would spend hours writing it. But the worst prejudice is of ourselves, the one we hide in the unconscious, and we don't even know we have it.
Exclusivism: the other is mine. Hahaha, this is the funniest and most lying.
Arrogance: this is when we think we are smartest. Come on, it's a big lie, intelligence often imprisons us in the ego, it's a trap.
I have used the following self-awareness technique when I feel any of the above feelings: I ask myself, I question myself and I hope it passes. Anger, for example, comes like a flame, which, when I put gasoline, afe, no one can handle it! But when I wait for the fire to pass, I ask myself, “Is this any of my business? Can I solve? Am I being nosy? Do I want the other to be as I want? Is he understanding me?”
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A night's sleep is always a good medicine. Whenever the sun rises again, we have the opportunity to shine a light on our darkness and see life differently.
There's always a learning curve. Are you alive on this planet? So let's learn one more line of your eternal story!
