The world seems to revolve around mothers. There are several websites dedicated to them. Food during pregnancy, even when driving, health and beauty care, how to balance career and motherhood… There is no shortage of information about the difficult and pleasurable art of being a mother. There are even humor groups on Facebook that tell the adventures of motherhood. And what about Mother's Day? The celebration began in ancient Greece. The arrival of spring, Rhea, the mother of all gods, was celebrated. At the beginning of the 1914th century, England dedicated the fourth Sunday of Lent to the mothers of the country's workers. After much struggle, in 1932, US President Woodrow Wilson designated the second Sunday in May as National Mother's Day in every state. In España, a decree by President Getúlio Vargas signed in XNUMX made the date official.
Where are the sites aimed at teaching them what women can and cannot eat during pregnancy? That teach them to differentiate contractions and identify labor? May they teach them how to deal with colic and identify the baby's cries. They are seen as mere supporters. Father's Day, for example, does not have the same weight. By the way, do you know how the date came about? One of the origins is in 1909. American Sonora Louise Smart Dodd, daughter of civil war veteran John Bruce Dodd heard a sermon honoring mothers. Sonora wanted to celebrate the life of her father, who became a widower and raised his children alone. In 1966, President Lyndon Johnson declared the third Sunday in June as Father's Day. In España, publicist Sylvio Bhering had the idea of ​​dedicating a day to parents. The first Spanish Father's Day was on August 14, 1953, the day of São Joaquim, patriarch of the family.
Curiosity
In España, the date was changed to the second Sunday of August. The reason? Purely commercial purposes. Such a modification, therefore, makes Father's Day here different from the United States and Europe.
The Father in the Biblical Perspective
in the bible, the father provided for the material, moral and spiritual needs of the child. It was up to him to guide, support and bless. O father had to be an example for the family.
Why are parents seen as supporting actors?
Women with small children always hear “does daddy help take care of the baby?”. The phrase already puts on the father the cultural stereotype that it is up to the mother to do the “heavy” work and she is left with the function of giving a “little help”, always following the woman's guidelines. It's the logic of the caves that never seems to change. The female stays at home taking care of the housework and the young while the male goes hunting. At the end of the hunt, the male plays a little with the young. The participation of father in creation should not be reduced to a “little help”. He needs to be present, to take upon himself the responsibility of sharing with the woman the mission of educating the child. But what is the importance of father in creation? What is the weight of the male figure in the character formation and personality of the child?
The importance of father's love
In the past, the role of father was to support the family, especially in the financial aspect. Shows of affection between the head of the family and the children were unnecessary. Fortunately that has changed. Many men understood its importance in the lives of children and for the whole family. The male figure has enormous relevance. The child needs to know that he has a special role in the life of the good. Simple attitudes, such as disconnecting from work and, with an open heart, watching a cartoon, talking about the child's day and telling a story, strengthen the intimacy and bond between parents and children. By dedicating time to their children, the child learns that affection is one of the pillars for harmony in family, and you will certainly repeat this model when you form yours.
The father's role in child development
O father plays a key role in child psychological development. A child rejected by father is visibly insecure and anxious. It is also common to observe traits of hostility and aggression. This emotional instability can last a lifetime. Freud addressed this issue in the work “Leonardo da Vinci and a childhood memory”. In it, the psychoanalyst made the following statement “in most human beings, both today and in primitive times, the need to lean on an authority of any kind is so imperative that their world collapses if that authority is threatened”.
The book “Fatherhood: a psychoanalytic approach”, by the Argentine psychoanalyst Arminda Aberastury brings a concise relationship between the father figure and child psychological maturation. For Arminda, the presence of father between six and twelve months will be remarkable, only if there is physical contact between him and the child. This contact plays a great role in the formation of the ego, an element whose function is to introduce reason, planning and waiting in human behavior.
The father image is associated with the imposition of limits. The absence of father It therefore means that the balance is out of balance. Obese children have stories of paternal abandonment, says psychologist Maria Rosa Spinelli, from the Spanish Association of Psychosomatic Medicine (ABMP). For experts from the ABMP, father absence also contributes to the early maturing of girls' sexuality. Those who had a healthy relationship for the first five years of life entered puberty later.
Father and sons
The father figure for the boys serves as a reference. the attitude of father in relation to women, for example, can be a great thermometer about the character formation and personality. A boy who sees the father treating your mother well, respecting female feelings, and sharing household chores will apply these concepts to your mother and to every woman in your life. Now, a boy who watches the father verbally and physically assaulting the mother can go two ways, repeat the violence, or be a staunch advocate for gender equality. The boy who grew up without the father becomes afraid of women. The child comes to see them as individuals worthy of fear. In this way, men tend to live troubled affective relationships.
father and daughters
The following excerpt is a quote from the book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters”, written by pediatrician Meg Meeker. The excerpt is also present in the book “Educating Girls” by American psychologist James Dobson. The quote says a lot about the relevance of the father in girls' lives.
“I watched daughters talk to their fathers. When you, father, enter the room, they change. Everything about them changes: eyes, mouth, gestures, body language. No daughter remains indifferent in the presence of her father. They may even ignore the mother, but not you. They are overjoyed, or they cry. They watch you closely.
They cling to your every word. They wait for your attention, and they wait for it in frustration—or desperation. They need a nod of approval, a nod of encouragement, or even eye contact to let them know you care and are willing to help.”
O father has enormous influence on girls. His behavior will be the basis for their relationships. girls who see the father treat the mother with respect, will hardly have emotionally negative relationships. But when you see the father assaulting the mother, the chances of getting involved with violent men and repeating the mother's pattern are great. The father's absence makes the daughters love men who do not appreciate romantic involvement, and the search for love at any cost, even if it costs the annulment of their essence.
The presence of father is fundamental for the character formation and personality. For him to be able to pass on positive values ​​to his children, he needs some skills. Let's see what are they?
be present
It seems obvious, but the thing is not as simple as it seems. Being together is not just sharing the same space.
be a good example
You say it's ugly to mistreat women, but you do it to the mother of your child. This makes it difficult to convey credibility. Children follow examples, not words.
Dialogue
For men it is a little difficult. However, talking to children is part of any relationship. Ask about the day, about school, if they are struggling with any subject…
Develop an affective relationship
Attention, care and affection need to be cultivated every day. Physical contact is key to affection. Holding hands and hugging does a damn good to parents and children.
teach
Pass on your knowledge. Teaching techniques for doing crossword puzzles, cooking, playing an instrument… Teaching your child is a time to exchange experiences. You will definitely learn something from the little one.
Praise
Is your child learning to read and write? praise. Can you ride a bike without the training wheels? praise. Are you doing well at school? praise. Praising your children's good performance will make them more confident about their skills and make them improve more.
No permissiveness!
Doing all the wishes of the children is stolen. Be firm and do not collaborate in the formation of a personality spoiled and arrogant.
don't be authoritarian
As serious as being permissive. O father must have authority, something quite different from authoritarianism. This is a behavior of the controllers. Say what can't be done and your reasons.
Be true
As difficult as it is, always speak the truth. You know the saying “a painful truth is better than a painful lie”? When you tell the truth, children's respect for their parents only increases.
Don't promise what you can't deliver
Super related to the previous item. Don't promise a ride or a toy if the family is low on money. Be honest, say that the situation is difficult, but that the ride or toy will leave as soon as things get better.
Apologize
Nobody is perfect. When you make a mistake, apologize to your child. He will grow up seeing that no one is free from making mistakes, but that a sincere apology is very valuable.
To boost the moments between parents and children
We say that the coexistence between parents and children must be cultivated. Chatting and watching movies are great ideas. Want other suggestions? Check out our tips.
- Playing marbles;
- Hit figurines;
- Making and flying kites (in a place away from electricity wires);
- Play police and robber;
- Mimicry;
- Bowling.
O father is seen as an adjunct, however, his presence is very important. The father figure is valuable to the character formation and personality. O father must be present since pregnancy, talking to the baby to start strengthening bonds since pregnancy. After birth, holding, changing diapers and bathing should be natural attitudes, not mere “helps”.
the role of father is similar to that of a woman. He needs to reconcile the routine of man, father and professional. He must not mix work and life in family. Playing with children while reporting is not beneficial to anyone. O father he does not perform his work properly, nor is he able to establish healthy bonds with the children. Another great challenge is reconciling authority and tenderness. Men are generally educated not to express their emotions. But, the time for caves is over.
the love of father It is a gemstone that must be cared for. It can become opaque or break, it all depends on what parents and children do on a daily basis. Parents, don't miss any opportunity to be together with your children, body and soul. Coexistence will have difficult times, the famous clash of generations will surely come, however, true love between parents and children overcomes any difficulty.
Little is said about parents. This is a tremendous injustice. Our father is our first hero. Not the ones that can fly, turn invisible, or freeze objects. Our father he is the real life hero, the one who faces traffic, works and defends honesty at all times.
It is not possible to finish this article without the old slogan “it is not enough to be father, you have to participate”. It's a cliché, but it sums it up pretty well.
