In 2016, I had my first contact with family constellations, until then, I didn't really know what it was or how it worked, my wife went through a process of sudden loss of her mother.
A friend of hers, a client of hers who was a constellation facilitator, offered her a look at this situation. As we were already in a process of personal development and we took some courses in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), we decided to go check it out. My wife was the constellation (client) and I was just watching, I had some sensations and emotions while watching and that moved me a lot, and I decided to try to understand a little more about how it all worked.
A few months later, I went to take a course, started reading some books, and I was more and more enchanted with Family Constellations and their results. After this course, I decided to go on this trip, and I started researching training courses to become a facilitator in Family Constellation. At first I thought I would need to have a degree in psychology, but contrary to what I and many people thought, to be a facilitator in Constellation you don't have to be a psychologist. So, I found a course from the Spanish Institute of Systemic Constellations, and enrolled.
I made a great choice, I learned a lot from Roseli Silva, a course focused on practice and a lot of content.
During my training process, I got to know the space Light spot, doing mine Astrology chart to Paola Mingardo, and I received an invitation to participate in the constellations that take place every Thursday at 18:30 pm. And I started to attend the constellations and experience even more in practice everything I learned in my training. After finishing my training as a Family Constellation Facilitator, I started my services at Ponto de Luz.
Today I perform individual and group consultations at the Ponto de Luz Therapies space. I leave here my invitation for you to come to know this technique and the results it has provided to many people.
But what is Family Constellation?
Family Constellation is a phenomenological methodology developed by the German psychotherapist Bert Hellinger, who in his life trajectory shows himself to be a seeker.
Born in Germany in 1925, he entered the seminary at the age of 10, at 17 he enlisted in the German army to serve in the Second World War as a soldier, but as he did not tune in with the Hitler Youth, he was frowned upon by the Nazi regime for not integrating into the ideal. He was a prisoner of war for 1 year and a half where he managed to escape and return home. With the end of the war, Bert Hellinger resumed his theology and philosophy studies, became a priest and lived approximately 2 decades in South Africa, especially with the Zulu community. He studied various techniques and theories such as NLP, Hypnosis, Gestalt, Transactional Therapy among others.
With his experience and based on the behavioral analysis of group living, Bert Hellinger brings us 3 laws or orders that govern systems and Family Constellations.
Belonging:
The family is the first social group of which we are a part. All members have their place and the right to belong to this system. When someone is excluded, this system goes out of balance and the characteristics of the excluded are assumed by another member of the family.
Hierarchy (order):
It is the position we assume in a system, who comes first precedes what comes later. Thus, parents precede children, in the same way that the child born first takes precedence over the second. Each has its place and time travels within the hierarchy from bottom to top.
The parents will always be big and bigger than the children.
Balance:
It is what provokes the sense of justice in a system, the give and take. In order to maintain the balance, it is necessary that all the members that are part of it give and take what is rightfully theirs. The term "take" (from German nehmen) it does not mean passively receiving, but accepting, assuming, incorporating what one receives. It is understanding and taking for yourself what is right. In this sense, the child takes the parents and what they receive from them.
In the relationship between couples, when giving and taking are in disequilibrium, whoever gives too much and does not take becomes bigger before the partner, becoming the partner's father or mother, and this relationship tends to end, whoever receives and does not give becomes small, feels is pressured and cannot bear to maintain the relationship.
When one or more of these laws are not complied with or respected, what we call tangles in our systems are generated. These entanglements cause emotional conflicts, relationship problems, psychosomatic illnesses, fears, psychoses, low self-esteem, financial problems, failures, etc. By looking at a situation through the constellations, the consultant or constellated can gain a new perspective on their problem, which leads to a deeper and more healing understanding, causing changes in themselves and their family system as a result.
Text written by Ronan Salvador – Facilitator in Family Constellation, Master Practitioner in NLP and Access Bar therapist.
