Most people want to feel secure and emotionally independent. But the reality is that most of them remain attached to the traumas and dramas they have experienced in the past, reliving, in a continuous loop, the emotional wounds of childhood.
That's why integrating the inner child is a fundamental step towards maturation, achievement of emotional independence and, often, freedom in other areas of life, such as financial and professional.
The inner child is not a literal child, but a part of our psyche that is related to spontaneity, creativity, joy and openness to the new things in life.
However, when we experience deep emotional wounds in childhood (and we all do to some extent), this part of the psyche presents itself in insecurity, difficulty calibrating one's feelings (going to the extreme of outbursts or emotional detachment), fear of creating bonds, self-destructive behavior, tendency to create abusive relationships and a series of interesting situations that limit our BEING.
The first step in transforming this situation is to become aware that this child exists within you. And observe when it comes to the fore, that is, when it speaks for you.
When you lose control, scream, resent, frustrate, fear vulnerability, isolate yourself or avoid getting in touch with your own feelings, ask yourself:
“Who is it that speaks of me?”
“My adult or my child?”
“Really, would a mature adult react like that?”
“What does my child need right now and is unable to communicate?”
“In what situation did I feel this way as a child?”
I also suggest that you take a childhood photo of yourself, connect with that image, lower your barriers and write a letter to your child.
Write about whatever comes to your mind, unfiltered. About situations of sadness, frustration, resentment, humiliation, excessive criticism, feelings of abandonment and rejection. Tell her how these situations still reverberate in you, the impacts that remain.
Tell her you're sorry for what she's been through. And that you love her and accept her for who she is. Make it clear that she is important to you and that you are open to listening, caring, and nurturing her, no matter what has happened in the past.
You will realize how liberating bringing these episodes into awareness can be. And how much it can increase your perception of your feelings and your current choices.
Also, below I will put a list of essential oils that help take care of that inner child.
Through vibrational aromatherapy, we can balance our energy field with the energy of the plant and the learning it brings us. In addition, essential oils have an immediate effect on the limbic brain system, the area responsible for emotions and memories.
I will suggest here an oil for each of the most common childhood emotional wounds. The idea is that you use these essential oils by inhalation (1 drop in the aromatic paste in the morning) for a month.
You may also like
- The search for our feelings
- Connect with your inner child to hear it better
- Leave the past behind to live in the present
- 5 steps to healing emotional trauma
- Understand the benefits of regression therapy
- What can we learn from trauma
Enjoy and journal about your feelings and emotions during this time. Also write about the memories that are accessed with the help of vibrational aromatherapy.
Ylang ylang and the wound of abandonment
Fear of abandonment is one of the most common emotional wounds. The child needs to go through a transition from merging with the mother to realizing himself in a peaceful way, feeling safe to be alone at times.
Essential oil that works on the relationship with the mother and the formation of a secure bond. Rescues the power of the feminine, awakens self-love, acceptance and kindness with yourself, allows you to take care and nourish yourself.
Bergamot and the wound of fear of rejection
The fear of rejection prevents us from living many possibilities in life. It impacts our affective relationships. It interferes with our professional success because it is linked to fear of exposure and judgment.
Bergamot essential oil acts in the rescue of self-confidence, self-appreciation and recovery of personal power. It reduces anxiety about exposing oneself and the shyness derived from the fear of rejection.
Siberian Fir and the Wound of Humiliation
Some parents, especially in the past decades, believed that constantly criticizing a child could be a motivation for him to improve. But excessive criticism takes a huge toll on most children's self-esteem. They come to perceive themselves as wrong just as they are.
An adult who has gone through this tends to blame himself for everything that happens in his life. He feels inadequate, is afraid of being vulnerable, and sometimes becomes extremely rational to protect himself from pain.
Siberian Fir essential oil helps release that sense of guilt, decreases excessive criticism and self-sabotage.
Roses and the emotional wound of violence
Every child should be spared from violence because of the impact it has on their development. And this is even a right of the Child and Adolescent Statute.
However, we know that violence, whether physical or verbal, is present in most homes in Spain. Even when this child is not directly attacked, but witnesses the aggressions, the trauma remains. And it manifests itself in fear, insecurity, difficulty trusting, submission to relationships where there is abuse.
Rose absolute is one of the highest vibrating essential oils in nature. That's why it treats deep traumas, resentments and old hurts, giving the feeling of divine and maternal protection.
It can also be used in cases of sexual abuse, helping the person, now an adult, to be able to relate affectively in a healthy way.
