Hi! Continuing the series of articles on the Child Psychosocial Development, today we will deal with the Anal Phase.
In the previous text we talked about the Oral Phase (read here), experienced by the baby from birth to approximately 18 months of age. I hope you enjoyed!
The introductory article for the series is here: Basic concepts.
The Anal Phase begins around 18 months to 2 years and lasts until approximately 4 years of age, and it is when the basis of the child's Psychic Safety and Value Formation is structured.
In this very important phase, the defensive and sadistic characteristics that are natural and necessary for our survival, such as aggressiveness, possession, selfishness and domination, come into play.
Yea! All this is very important for your healthy development.
This is the second phase of the libido evolution and here it is under the primacy of the anus, plus the intestinal tract and the urinary tract.
At this age, the child already understands that the Other exists, begins to realize that he is not the center of the universe and that he has someone who commands him, whom he will have to obey if he wants to participate in the omnipotence of adults. Here begins to form what we call in psychoanalysis Ideal ego, which are the values ​​that are passed on to us by our parents, caregivers, society, religion, etc.
It is a time of great importance in the child's development, because he already understands what he is told and it is very important that parents and caregivers know that the child is totally LITERAL at this age, that is...
…she doesn't understand the abstract, irony, sarcasm, double meaning phrases and much of what is said to her carelessly can be misunderstood, generating anguish.
It takes dedication, time and patience to explain things to a child at this age... if when he is rude you say that "No One Likes You!", she will believe; and if when she throws a tantrum you say "I'll leave you there!", she will feel abandoned; and if when she cries you say “swallow this cry because this is nothing”, she will not feel that her feelings are valued and this will all have future consequences, so it is worth having a lot of attention and care with these little creatures that are entrusted to us, because it is through our eyes that they will be presented to the world.
“A loving and welcoming world is a good start to life.”
We noticed that a child has entered the Anal Phase when he starts to care about peeing and pooping.
The child understands that feces are his first production and will function as a symbolic object, and through him he will seek his psychic security through possession and domination, when he manages to retain or expel the feces under his control. And that's WOW, very important!
It is her time to manifest her own will, including through aggression as a primitive form of defense, because she still doesn't know any other, so she really bites her little friend, with conviction and without guilt, to defend what is hers.
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It's a way of learning to defend yourself, yes, and it's natural.
At this age, the child already acquires some autonomy and starts to like the object, so it is necessary to teach hygiene care in the bathroom, but without giving the impression that it is something dirty, disgusting and, therefore, that requires exaggerated or disproportionate care.
Saying that the child's poop is smelly, disgusting and making faces is not good practice, as this is a creation of the child and therefore should be valued as such. It's that time to say goodbye to him on the toilet so he can go with his mother, for example! Haha. All very peaceful and very pleasant…
The act of defecating, expelling feces, represents normal sadism, that is, getting rid of what is not necessary, letting go... for her. To "Put out" her feces in a calm way, she also learns about detachment and, by extension, activity and initiative.
It sounds simple, but for a lot of people it's not for life!
The act of retaining feces, controlling the sphincters, represents control, normal domination, and in adult life it means keeping, saving, knowing how to take care of your things.
Here we see activity vs passivity:
It is also of great importance to remember that, at this stage, many moms and dads are distressed and anxious to unfurl, but be very calm at this time, because each child has their time and there are several factors that influence this process. The anxiety and anguish of parents are components that do not help, as well as demands and demands ahead of time, which are harmful to the physical and mental health of the child.
If there is no organic, mental or emotional dysfunction, your child will learn to use the potty! If you realize that she needs specialized help, don't hesitate to seek it out, including for yourself, if you have extreme anxiety.
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About the influence on personality in the Good Phases and Bad Phases, as I mentioned in the previous text, a brief summary follows:
good phase
The child receives proper care from parents or caregivers and learns about psychic security. Parents teach her gently, including proper hygienic care when going to the bathroom, but not overdone, and she learns she can have control.
She receives encouragement in the act of defecating, in the act of expelling, without inhibitions, without hearing that her poop is ugly or stinky, developing in her normal healthy sadism, so that she understands that she can "Put out" and to let go of what doesn't serve you or doesn't do you any good during your life.
When the child learns to withhold, to hold the feces of their own volition, until they can evacuate with hygiene or in an appropriate place, they develop the normal capacity for domination and will learn to save, think about tomorrow, in a healthy way.
Has Fase
The child who had excessive scruples with the dirty, heard that his poop was dirty and smelly, or has not yet taken any care with hygiene, can develop, through the act of expelling, destructive aggression, and will not be able to “put out” calmly what harms him, or he may develop passivity and cowardice.
“By the act of retaining and controlling poorly done, he can develop selfishness, pettiness, jealousy and control of having only for himself, in addition to irritability and bad mood when wanting to expel what was prevented from him.”
Masochism, due to the pain he felt when he had to withhold stool when he was not allowed to evacuate naturally due to excessive scruples or disgust, is also developed at this stage.
Pleasure for pain... and she may find it natural to suffer through life...
The child, and later an adult, can develop excess or lack of scruples and prejudice with what they “consider dirty”, due to the introjection of the disgust passed on by the adult caregiver.
Let's remember that any lack, excess or trauma suffered during the phase leads to a possible pathological fixation in it. So care as far as common sense is recommended.
I think I could clearly see how strict hygiene on this subject can negatively affect the child's development. These can be very severe consequences that will hinder their social life and their moral and ethical evolution.
So here again the tip of the middle way is worth it. Always use common sense.
Yes, we will take care of the children with hygiene, teach them to clean their butt well, wash their hands whenever they go to the bathroom, but also allow them to use a bathroom when they say they are tight, even if this bathroom is not within the hygiene standards. of mom, safeguarding the basic care, obviously. Having tissues and seat protectors in your bag help to make going out more peacefully.
Saying goodbye to the poop in the toilet, not disdaining this children's production, not saying pejoratively that her poop is ugly or smelly and having a lot of patience in removing the diapers and transitioning to the potty, are ways to help your little one to go through this phase in a healthy way, and it will bring great positive results for everyone in the family.
Now getting into the behavior, we need to remember that boundaries are necessary at this stage and the child needs to feel that the parents take care of him, and say NO it is important for her to distinguish between what she is and what the other is.
At this stage, the child begins to function Limbic system, which is a protective mechanism that involves the cerebral amygdala, the hippocampus, and the cortex.
Check it out here: Limbic system, emotional intelligence and self-esteem.
The Limbic System comes into action in an act of defense when we lose pleasure and at this stage it is at its highest stage of development. After this phase he gives in to come back again with full force in adolescence!
So when the child is forced to do something that takes away from her pleasure, her limbic system kicks in and she reacts with anger, and the little creature that has had its oral phase well done and created an identity starts to say NO.
Desperate time for many parents, who, after all, also have a limbic system and need to be lucid enough to control it and not argue equally with a 3-year-old.
At this age, recognition of the OTHER and SELF is taking place, and the phase of “NO”, “WHY” and “MINE!” begins.
"NO! IT'S MINE" is a common phrase for an anal child, and this self-centeredness is part of her identity formation. When the adult interferes with the anal child's egocentrism, telling her to share her toy, her snack or to lend something to her little friend, he also interferes with her full development.
When we tell a child that we don't want him to do something he wants to do, we trigger his limbic system and he gets angry. Enduring the anger that this child feels as a result of the loss of his pleasure is an arduous but important task.
When a child is allowed to let his limbic system begin and end its functioning by doing its full cycle of beginning, middle and end, so that he ultimately submits to the authority of the mother or caregiver, he will learn something very important, which and the ESTEEM. The self-love. The liking of yourself. Something of the utmost importance, which will free you from becoming emotionally dependent on others.
The parents' desire should be the limit for the child, without further explanation. Only: can't because mom doesn't want to! Point. She needs to know that she has someone who takes care of her, and at this age she doesn't need much explanation about orders.
Remember that authority is different from authoritarianism.
With authority, parents determine what they can or cannot, but allow the child to feel anger and go through the limbic process, while in authoritarianism, parents order the crying to be swallowed, not allowing the cycle to happen.
The feeling generated in her when she realized that someone was able to put up with her bad side and that she herself was able to put up with it without anything serious happening, and that her parents continue to love her and treat her normally it is what will give the child the possibility to like himself.
“It is a very important task to raise healthy adults who accept themselves as they are”.
So that they are not dependent on society's standards and attention and recognition of what is external. A child with emotional and psychic security is much more likely to be resilient and withstand life's adversities without succumbing to them, so courage and a lot of patience, that every effort will be rewarded when realizing that your child values ​​herself for ethics and not aesthetics.
In the next article, we will talk about Phallic Phase, which goes from 4 to 6 years old….
Until then!
Keep following the Basic Children's Handbook:
