At least not in this aspect...
I will not go into the merits of the reasons that lead one person to deceive another, either with actions or words. Nor will I talk about the breach of trust between relationships with lies and omissions.
I know that I run the risk of being uncomfortable and of gaining some disaffection with this text, but even so, I invite you to a brief reflection, after all, all of us at some point in our lives are betrayed or traitors. And I say, we are more traitors than betrayed.
There are so many ways we betray that we don't even realize it. We cheat when we forget to be nice or when we want to pretend everything is okay when it's not. We betray ourselves, therefore, when we cancel ourselves in favor of another person or in order not to cause collateral damage in some situation. As Nietzsche once said: “Who, for the sake of his good reputation, has not once sacrificed himself?”.
We betray ourselves when we create expectations, even though deep in our chest there is the knowledge that these are far from reality.
One of the meanings given to the word betray in the dictionary is: “not fulfilling a promise, commitment or principle”.
In this way, cheating is a choice and not a chance.
And the breach of a promise, a commitment or a principle only offends us due to the degree of expectation we place in the actions of third parties.
If we feel betrayed by someone who has chosen an action that tarnishes our confidence, we must first reflect on whether we had not betrayed ourselves before.
I'm not saying that we should distrust everyone around us, quite the opposite. Trust is a virtue akin to love.
I just say, because nothing, absolutely nothing happens without some prior indication, however subtle it may be.
If your partner decided to get involved with someone else and took you by surprise, believe me: the signs were already there. The same if your friend or co-worker betrayed your trust, I assure you: it didn't happen overnight.
We betray ourselves, our instincts and perceptions under arguments that seek to justify our choice to ignore them.
Sometimes we do it out of insecurity to confirm the suspicion, other times out of fear that our confrontation reveals to us our own responsibility in the situation of betrayal, but it is certain that at different times we will have our warning signs activated uncomfortably.
Cheating is a choice, as well as ignoring the signs of betrayal and, by principle, in doing so, we paradoxically pass to the condition of traitor, of ourselves.
Although I defend that forgiveness is an individual condition that must be exercised, even if relationships are lost, since forgiveness is not agreement, but exemption from debt and donation, the reflection that I hope you make with these words is not a request for pardon for the traitor, that is not the reflection.
But when you feel in a bitter condition of betrayal, try whenever possible to observe how many times you had the opportunity to prevent the story from going to that end. That's the reflection!
It is not a “mea culpa”, nor an absolution, but a reflection of self-knowledge so that the painful situation does not repeat itself, so that it is easier to deal with human inconstancy and so that your emotion and reason can live in balance.
