However, we know well that the human being is unstable, fickle and extremely incited by the forbidden and by sexual desire. In this way, betrayal is much more common than we think, but because it is taboo, it is often hidden. This is where the reflection is worth: would it be that if betrayal were allowed and less seen as a problem, would it still be so committed? Or is it precisely the forbidden that makes it more interesting?
Well, it depends. It depends on several factors, but mainly on the traitor's profile. After all, there are people who cheat uncontrollably, can't control their impulses or even see it as some kind of problem. On the other hand, another type of traitor is the one who committed the betrayal a few times (or even just once) and feels too guilty about the situation, so much so that he thinks about telling his betrayed partner, because he cannot live with the weight of guilt that feel.
If the act of cheating is already extremely complicated to understand, let alone the decision to tell or not tell your partner about the situation. It is a decision that involves so many pros and cons, that a deep analysis of the traitor is necessary to reach a conclusion. If it's a frequent situation, it probably won't even cross his mind, because when there is a doubt about telling it, it's because either you can't live with the secret anymore, or because the current relationship won't lead anywhere and the fact of putting it it at risk is no longer of great importance.
As much as some people see the act of telling about the betrayal as a kind of redemption, one has to think about how the person who receives this news will be. Is it worth hurting and putting the person in a situation of total discomfort with themselves? Usually, upon discovering a betrayal, the person wonders about what they did wrong or about their lack of attractiveness for such a thing to have happened. Chances are, if you tell about a betrayal trying to save a relationship, it's unlikely the affair will be forgotten in its entirety. If you don't want to continue in this relationship anymore, it might be worth saving your partner another disappointment.
It is a delicate situation that requires a lot of tact and care, but it is certain that everyone involved will be a little hurt and disappointed. The act of betraying already requires care and a lot of discernment, but the act of telling the betrayal, I dare say, is even more delicate. I believe the best thing to do is to be honest with the person you are in a relationship with, as well as with yourself, and think if you are ready for a monogamous relationship or if you really want to experience different people and not hold on to anyone. It is also necessary to ask what reasons would lead you to commit a betrayal. Suddenly, you're the one in the wrong relationship.
Text written by Roberta Lopes from the Eu Sem Fronteiras Team.
