Hi! In the last article we talked about Anal Phase (read here) , in which many important things are developed, and today the theme is the Phallic Phase, which goes from 4 to 6 years of age approximately.
If you want to understand better, here is the introductory text and the other texts that precede this one, ok?
The introductory article for the series is here: Basic concepts.
The Phallic Phase is the basis of the Formation of Recognition, of the search for Provisions, for being Loved, Valued and Accepted. It is the third phase of libidinal evolution and is under the primacy of the Phallus. This is when the child begins to pay attention to her and her parents' sexual organs. It is the beginning of Sexualization and Affectivity.
Here the pleasure is already in the genitals, in the penis in the boy, and in the girl in the clitoris. At this stage, the child's biological development is almost complete, but he still lacks psychic maturity.
Now his drives, which were partial, that is, in other organs, such as the mouth and anus, are already under the influence of Organs genitals. Biologically the limbic system (click here to read about the Limbic System) its action diminishes and the psychic system inaugurates the Fear of Loss, which is the most important phase of our affectivity, of the development of good attachment.
It is when the child becomes human, when the importance of feeling part of the family is fundamental for their development. She wants to see baby pictures of her pregnant mother to make sure she's part of the family.
At that moment, it is time for her to realize that she is part of the family triangle, father, mother and son, but that she is not the one who rules it.
It is the time when the child wants to send the parents to sleep to take control of the TV and stay until the time they want to watch their programs, when the opposite is the right thing to do. It's time for the child to go to sleep, but mom and dad will, yes, stay in the living room watching TV and the child goes to bed.
It is a phase where there is an emphasis on the child's narcissistic personality, the girl realizes that she is a woman like her mother and the boy realizes that he is a man like his father. At this stage, the child seeks and needs Recognition, she wants to feel her belonging to the family, because affection needs this response. The child at this age is more obedient and it will be a delightful phase if the child has passed the previous ones well.
Now is the time to tell the truth where she came from, whether natural children or from the heart, always speaking the truth, so she can believe in life. This is that phase in which the child draws, dances, sings and wants an audience at home and outside. She is the show!
Give your children the audience, recognize their talents and abilities, encourage them even if they don't live up to your standards. Give them all the love and attention so they feel accepted and don't have to spend their lives looking for it in others and subjecting themselves to toxic or abusive relationships hoping to be loved...
Let's consider a Good Phase when the child has received adequate care:
- The child is loved, recognized and accepted;
- She is mildly educated;
- It receives all the proper attention, guidance, and boundaries.
All this attention from parents and caregivers will encourage her to have a good vanity. The healthy one, who feels pleasure in taking care of himself, in addition to good arrogance, that is, good pride, that of knowing how to recognize his mistakes and successes in a calm way.
The Bad Phase is the one in which the child had a lack or excess:
- The child can become an insecure adult, a “Skinny of Provision”, eternal propitiation, who lives to please others, to receive the attention and recognition that he did not have from parents or caregivers;
- May become shy or introverted;
- Constant feelings of inferiority and a huge need for recognition can accompany her throughout her life, causing serious self-esteem problems.
Even when he has excesses, he will be a “Fat of Provision”, critical narcissist, always demanding a lot of attention and only for himself.
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- The role of grandparents in raising grandchildren
And to conclude, this is a quiet phase, when parents have a breather… lol.
In the next article, the topic will be the Latency Period, which ranges from 6 to 11 years approximately.
Until then!
Keep following the Basic Children's Handbook:
