A hundred ways to make a difference in people's lives - Chapter 65

CHAPTER 65 – NEVER DISQUALIFY PEOPLE! 

Disqualification is, without beating around the bush or academic fancy, a kind of denial of the importance of the other, of what he thinks, what he sees and how he acts. It is a matter of diminishing the importance of the other, a behavior motivated by numerous reasons, among which we can highlight, for the scope of this book, the following: pure and low education, perverse instinct inherent to personalities that have never been cleaned. therapy, in addition to the inability to know how to respect and preserve the other and their layers of sensitivities and values.

When we perform an act of disqualification, we are subjecting the counterpart to a cut in his emotional tissues, made by a blunt and infected blade, which penetrates deep but does not leave a surface mark. In other words, disqualification can be understood as a cruel but invasive instrument that causes deeper pain than physical ones.

Be very careful what you say about the people you live with, especially when in public situations. Try to preserve them and everything they feel, as nothing is gained by hurting people or subjecting them to vexations in public.

Be a difference in people's lives, acting with reverent respect in terms of safeguarding the values ​​and characteristics of each one, especially sensitivity, because it is in these dimensions that disqualification has the most painful repercussions. 

The film “Carrie the Strange”, in its original form, from 1967, or the well-made “remake” for television, from 2002, is recommended to broaden the understanding of aspects and consequences of disqualification. In the film there is a very caustic treatment of the subject, which, however, does not invalidate the time dedicated to watching it. In an extreme way, he reiterates how far a person who is continually unqualified can get.

Examples of everyday disqualification that are not perceived by those who practice them: referring to the spouse or similar as “that one, that one”, “mistress”, “owner of the pension” or “delegate”, which, in addition to bad taste, is to reduce too much the importance of the other. The bad habit of correcting the other in front of other people, very common, is another form of disqualification, which rivals in terms of troglodyte behavior with the act of exacerbating a given weakness of a person in front of others.