Chapter 43 – KNOW HOW TO SAY “NO!”
And, as they say in popular parlance, say that “No!”… in the “can”, which means to be immediate and vigorous.
It's better to risk the person's anger at receiving a denial than trying to sleep with a guilty conscience like "I should have said no, but now the cow has gone to the swamp!". These situations happen when the negative is the most sensible of the answers, as, for example, a loan request by a friend who is notable as wasteful, uncontrolled or even irresponsible in dealing with their finances.
It takes a lot loveliness to say a necessary “no”, a lot, and that makes a FANTASTIC difference in people's lives because sooner or later they will understand the reasons for their denial and will be grateful, lovingly grateful. If you say “no” properly and with perfect adjustment to the need, your educational content will certainly be greatly expanded and will have a positive impact on the immediate perceptions and future memories of the person who had to hear it.
Of course, it is much easier to say “yes” to everything. Those who act like this always have a friendly image, are seen as "nice" and gain an immense aura of being "nice people", which can massage a few egos, but cause, in the future, an avalanche of very serious problems.
Two references to illustrate “knowing how to say no”, the one being a most politically incorrect fiction, the other a fact known to this scribe. First, then: the character Veruca Salt, from the movie “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, directed by Tim Burton in 2005 and with Johny Depp in the role of Willy Wonka, the owner of the factory; a girl who had never heard a “no” from her rich and flustered father and who ends up being punished in the film's plot, for being too unfriendly and demanding that her wishes were always met.
The second reference, real story: that of a rich, beautiful, friendly, cheerful and spoiled daughter of a powerful industrialist, who had never heard a very categorical “no” and who assumed she had the world in her hands, at least the world that her father’s cornucopia of money could buy, until… Used to saying “no” to the legion of lovers who were courting her, many of them also eyeing the piles of money to which she would be heir, she heard a “no” from the most handsome and desired boy in the class and entered in emotional shock, to the point of going into a difficult and long depression, leaving it with 40% more body mass and the resulting physical and emotional problems.
