Have you ever heard of philophobia? This complex disease name has a very simple explanation: fear of falling in love or being emotionally involved with someone. It is possible that you have already met someone like this – or even you suffer from it… It's more common than we think!
Contrary to what many people think, the fear of getting involved with someone in the romantic-affective sense is more than a behavior, because it can become that psychological disorder described at the beginning, philophobia. To help you understand all about it – and get out of this situation – we have prepared this article!
What is philophobia?
First of all, the name fiolophobia comes from two Greek expressions: “philos” (love) and “phobia” (fear). Philophobia is a psychological disorder that affects people causing them to have fear, anxiety or fear of becoming emotionally and romantically involved with someone.
The symptoms of philophobia vary. While some people may experience physical symptoms in the face of an emotionally involved situation, such as nausea, headache, excessive sweating, and even fainting, others have psychological symptoms, such as extreme dread, fear, and a desire to isolate themselves and move away from people.
The causes of a problem like this are varied, but most are related to trauma. Relationships that ended in a traumatic way, emotional and physical abuse, lack, having seen abusive relationships in childhood and adolescence, among other issues.
Philophobia versus Fear of Disappointment
In a way, we all have fears of heartbreak. And that's because, deep down, we can never predict how a relationship will develop. I will get it right? Will you match? Is it possible to trust the person? Does the person have the same tastes and intentions? Anyway, expectations and doubts are many.
In the case of philophobia, all this happens in a much more intense way, really limiting someone, who ends up being incapacitated or prevented from getting involved with someone. So, if you feel that your symptoms and concerns reach this level, seek the help of a psychologist to talk about it and overcome your difficulties.
How to overcome the fear of falling in love?
As we have already said, the simple fear of being heartbroken is different from philophobia. But, in both cases, some tips can be followed, especially the first one in this list that we have prepared:
1. Understand the root of it
Where does your fear of falling in love come from? From a relationship or crush that didn't end well in the past? Of having seen, in the family or among friends, loving relationships that ended in pain and suffering? Or the simple fear of venturing out and giving a part of yourself to someone?
Maybe you don't even have these answers, so you have to go into a process of self-knowledge to find out where it comes from. And this process can be very well used and monitored in therapy. So if this bothers you, look for a psychologist to explore all sides of this topic and understand your fear.
2. Give it time
When we think of passion and great love, the analogy that comes to mind is often that of throwing oneself without fear, in a hurry, with an urgency to love and to be with the loved one all the time. In other words, it's living everything with intensity, running over time to kill the longing.
But not everyone is like that – and you don't have to be. If you can't see yourself touching, kissing, or having sex with someone right away, stop thinking there's something wrong with you. So respect your time and understand: someone who really likes you will understand, accept and “embrace” your rhythm of love.
3. Expose yourself safely
As explained in the previous topic, not all love needs to be an intense thing that happens overnight. If you feel insecure and feel like you need to tread carefully, respect your process. So if you decide to expose yourself, do it safely. Also, have a support network with people you can talk to.
Resolving your fear of falling in love involves allowing yourself to fall in love and love. Can you end up with a broken heart? Yes, of course, but it can also end with beautiful moments, a shared life and incredible experiences with a loved one. So give this opportunity to yourself, safely and calmly.
4. Be sincere and honest
If you think your fear of falling in love could compromise your relationship with an interesting person you've met, be honest with them. Talk, expose your fear, talk about your insecurities. If you feel comfortable, even talk about what caused you to have that fear.
This is no guarantee that the person will have affective responsibility and care for you. But maybe sharing all these fears with the person who is directly involved in them is a good decision to deal with this fear that can get in the way of the relationship.
5. Live in the present!
If your fear of falling in love was caused by some past trauma, especially by one person, don't allow that person and that trauma to be greater than your desire to be happy. So don't empower who or what makes you suffer. End the past chapters and start the next ones.
You might also like:
- What can we learn from a heartbreak?
- See how to fall in love with your life!
- Why do we fall in love?
- Learn to practice self-love in your life
- Understand the importance of falling in love with one foot on the ground
Also, don't live in the future. Don't live in fear that things will go wrong or end up in suffering. Live the present day after day and understand that the future will be built little by little. So stop visualizing a terrible future and allow yourself, even for the first time, to visualize a positive future.
Finally, being afraid of falling in love is more common than we think and can be the result of trauma and abuse that we have seen or been through. Give yourself time to recover from this and give yourself the possibility to be happy. You'll beat this if you want to!
