You will never know everything. But it's important to see all the mistakes. Therefore, if you, as a parent, commit any of the attitudes below, it is important to reflect on this to rethink the way you act with your children. Admitting a mistake is no shame – even in front of your kids! Children must learn that admitting mistakes to correct them will always be the best alternative.
Below are five attitudes that parents have that weaken their children.
1. Not listening to them
Children need to know that they have space to talk to their parents. They are at the beginning of life and therefore they need to try everything. A thousand and one thoughts start to form in their minds and they need to share it all with someone. If they don't have this space at home, they will likely grow up frustrated, which can reflect a lot on their personality and behavior.
2. Compare them to other children
Each child is unique and has its time of evolution and development. Therefore, it is normal for children of the same age to be at different stages of learning, but this is not a sign that one is lagging behind the other. Comparing your child to other children can be incredibly painful for him, causing consequences for the family relationship, such as parental estrangement, depression, among other problems.
3. Psychological abuse
The consequences of psychological abuse are just as devastating as those of physical abuse. Of course, physical abuse should be avoided in any kind of situation, but sometimes psychological abuse does happen. Screams, orders without well-explained arguments (children need to understand the reasons for everything), among other attitudes, destroy a child's confidence and self-esteem.
4. Punish them without arguments
Punishing without arguing the reasons (that is, that story of “yes, because yes” and “no, because I'm saying no”) does not help at all to build the pillars of child education. On the contrary, it only makes this process even more difficult. Unexplained punishments will generate frustration, anger and sadness, which can be directly reflected in the child's way of acting towards others. After all, if they don't know exactly why they are being punished, how will they know what is right or wrong?
5. Not showing affection
Hugs, kisses, cafuné, affection, kind words, love. Do you often say "I love you" to your child? Do you usually hug and kiss him every day? Know that having these customs of showing affection is very important for the construction of the child's personality. Much more than just saying you love him, show your child that love. In addition to increasing the bond between parent and child, displays of affection help the little one feel complete and have the security that he is loved. Otherwise, you will look for that security in other places, things and situations.
Mistakes will happen, but it's important to be open to owning up, understanding and changing what's wrong. You and your entire family are only likely to gain from this attitude.
Also, it is important to know that doubts will always exist. Even so, there are basic attitudes that must always exist, regardless of the situation: know how to listen, have the patience to explain (and explain again and again, because children do not always learn in the first instance), in addition to congratulating the child on his successes. . Finally, show love and affection always! This is the basis of any successful relationship.
Text written by Giovanna Frugis from the Eu Sem Fronteiras Team.
