Being a mother is a big dream in the lives of many women, and as beautiful as motherhood is, this reality comes full of challenges. Since the discovery of pregnancy, the whirlwind of hormones that women have to deal with, the physical and mood changes and the uncontrollable love that is born without knowing how to explain it. With the arrival of a new life in the world, a mother is also born, a warrior woman, a tireless lioness, who will do everything to protect and give her best to this helpless little being. But even the most warrior woman or the strongest lioness in the pride also need to rest, eat and, above all, feel alive after motherhood.
Looking at motherhood in general, each stage of the children generates a reaction in the mother and in the way she faces it. Mothers often blame themselves, compare themselves, charge themselves for the perfection of an education that does not exist. Children do not have an instruction manual, and each child is unique. Therefore, the best thing to do is always look at what is possible for your family, in your home, within what you believe is correct or not. To help mothers and mothers-to-be look at the path of motherhood more lightly and enjoy each phase with their babies even more, here are 10 steps to inspire. Check out!
Accept and ask for help when you need it
Motherhood is exhausting, and it can hurt even more to go through difficult times alone. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help or accept it, this is normal and will be good for both you and your child. Most of the time, the family tries to help as best they can, and the maternal instinct can make the woman deny the help or have fear and some insecurities. Feeling this is normal, but as much as you want to, you are not made of iron and you will need to rest.
When you can receive help, accept it. Create a support network and make time for yourself. The support network is very important for the mother's mental health. Take the opportunity to listen to songs you like, take a long shower, moisturize your hair, watch a movie you haven't seen yet. Look for something pleasurable outside the routine with the children. This will make you come back energized and even a little homesick.
The hard days pass too
Is the puerperium difficult? Too much. Does it end? Yup. Is breastfeeding difficult? Yup. Does it end? Yup. Does seeing your child cry with colic hurt? Much! Do they end too? Yup. And that goes for countless other situations we encounter in motherhood. From food introduction to unfurling. Adaptation at school, the learning process, childhood to adolescence. The hard days will come, and they will also go away. Take advantage of each phase to learn how to resolve situations in the best possible way, and then you will remember these moments with pride and satisfaction.
have a routine
When we talk about routine, we think of a schedule of things with schedules to be followed every day, right? The maternity routine must exist, but it needs to be adapted for the whole family. It's no use putting a routine impossible to be followed and that doesn't work.
The challenge of routine is to make the best use of the time and that there is still a little time left to do nothing together. Routine needs to exist but it doesn't need to be exhausting for the children, much less for the mother.
Look at the world with new eyes
One of the best experiences that motherhood can offer is a new way of seeing the world. Like this? The house looks so big, the sky looks so close, the clouds make beautiful patterns in the sky again and they seem to be made of cotton. Play makes sense again, and everything can be beautiful again in the eyes of the child, who seems to be always ready to discover more and more. Tell stories, research, show photos, teach what you know and you'll see how beautiful and interesting the world can be again.
Don't compare yourself to other mothers
The biggest mistake of the woman who is a mother is comparing herself with other women who are also mothers. Whether in appearance, in the way of dressing, in the way of educating, in the way of speaking. Always try to remember: there is no right formula! The mother next door has her reasons for being the way she is, just as you have your reasons for being the way you are, and that's okay with that.
Don't compare yourself, don't point the finger, don't judge. Sometimes that mom is having a hard day, just like you have hers too. Maybe she doesn't have a support network, her marriage is cooling off, she doesn't have anyone to talk to, or she's just really tired. Just respect and understand.
be shelter
As cliché as it may sound, it's true: time passes too fast. In maternity, this feeling is even “worse”, since the baby who seems to have been born days ago will soon be totally independent, running around alone. This step is simple: be shelter for your child whenever he needs and wants. One day, he won't fit in your arms anymore, the little hand that now holds one finger at a time will be bigger and bigger. And there will come a time when your hug will no longer be the first thing he looks for when he wants to cry. And it's going to hurt, Mom. So, enjoy it while you can. Give hug, kiss to stop the pain, give lap, sleep glued. Time will not be understanding with you, and then only memories will remain.
Listen and understand your children
In crazy times we live in, with so much evil happening around every corner, the best thing to do is learn not only to talk to your children, but also to listen to what they have to say and allow it. Always encourage conversation.
Ask lightly, talk a little too, and let him express himself. This works not only for children and adolescents, but also for the little ones, who do not speak well, but express themselves very well. Pay attention to signs – the body speaks, and so do attitudes. And babies are smarter than we think. Be alert!
don't cover so much
You don't have to be perfect. Do you know why? Because nobody is! It is normal to make mistakes from time to time. It's normal to forget something, it's normal to fail, it's normal to be tired, it's normal to be lazy. Mothers feel it too and have that right, just like anyone else. Lost time? All good! Did you sleep later? All good! Forgot to go to the market? Tomorrow you pass. Everything is fine. Accept your flaws as part of you and do better tomorrow without beating yourself up over such small things. A good reason for that: do you celebrate every time you get it right? Maybe not, so why suffer so much for failing sometimes? Get a good night's sleep, tomorrow will be a new day.
vent
Have someone to talk to, vent to, cry. Telling someone else what's going on, sharing what's happening, what you're thinking may not solve things that only depend on you, but it makes the soul and heart lighter. The day to day in the maternity hospital makes us cry too – sometimes because of so much love inside our chests; sometimes out of guilt, fear, insecurity, exhaustion. And it's normal.
- Respect your existential process
- the gift of motherhood
- Pay attention to the mental health of mothers
- Mother – The most spoken and heard word in the world
- Analyze the impact of being a single mother on parenting
No one's mental health is 100% prepared to handle the ends alone smiling, crying is part of it. Remember the item mentioned above: hard days pass too!
Enjoy yourself
In closing, have fun! Laugh with your children, make them laugh, laugh at yourself again, a smile can change everything and it's still good for your health. Take the day to enjoy with the kids, take them away from the TV, propose games, leave the dishes for later (or tomorrow), dance, jump, provide delicious moments with your children, and you will see how the energy and the connection between you will be better and better.
After these 10 steps, we want motherhood to be a gift for you. Namaste!
