“Young people are deprived of experience and perception of what is fleeting. And he believes that bad moment will never end.”
Experience is the food of wisdom, it is our daily meal to know how to deal with situations and adversities. Throughout life, we go through these adversities and realize that they are just passing moments.
We learn to deal with it and accept that it will soon pass. The young person, on the other hand, does not have the necessary experience and leverages in a way as if the moment would never end.
When a young man makes the decision to take his own life, he reveals that he was at the edge of despair and beyond reason.
Youth is a moment of transition in which the young person is beginning to experience loneliness, it is the moment of discovery and emancipation.
It is the moment of testing, in which the need to be an adult results in a strong despair that leads him to silence his dissatisfactions.
The silence says that the help of the parents, if the young person has them, is not being enough.
This emancipation, this experiment in loneliness creates a false idea of ​​power, of thinking that they can do everything, that they are immortal, a factor that leads them to experience things that can lead to death, such as drugs and drinks, and put themselves at risk. of life in general.
Youth is a time of hormonal, sexual and social transition that affect the emotional.
For me, some of the problems are linked to the lack of affective richness. Also to this competition that globalization through the internet has potentiated.
The lack of true social interaction is also a strong motivator and driver for them to give up on life.
It's an anguish to be a teenager, because it's not easy to deal, in silence, with all the changes that the phase requires.
This natural adaptation that youth requires is accompanied by the shame and need for acceptance that adult life imposes.
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Responsibilities and the demands of maturity make them apprehensive and many can't handle it all.
Parents, wanting to help, end up getting in the way when they feel the need to do for them what they should do for themselves.
Many parents end up treating their children like children and are unable to give them autonomy.
Doing everything for your children and having them under your wing is one of the biggest mistakes you can make: satisfying all your children's desires in the illusion that they will feel happier this way.
When parents satisfy all their children's wishes and spoil too much, they end up compromising the formation of their identity. This makes them feel lost and unable to find their true place in the world. They feel like they will always have to be an extension of their parents.
The fear of losing the children by the parents, results in the loss of the child's identity.
In a consumer society, the child becomes the emotional consumption of the parents. Unlike the product, one child cannot be exchanged for another, and many parents try to shape their child's personality, and this lack of acceptance of their personality can be a serious reason for dissatisfaction with their own life in adolescence.
We have to be aware that our child will be the result of our mistakes and successes.
How to solve the communication problem at home
With acceptance and dialogue.
Knowing how to lead the dialogue to unravel the young people's problems is a good way to prevent them from going into an emotional outbreak and committing suicide.
Many parents, who have already gone through this priceless pain, tried everything before the tragic end happened.
They talked, gave affection and a lot of attention, but nothing was enough.
For young people who are dissatisfied with their lives, we must try to awaken in them a sense of belonging, a passion for something or things that make them value life, and that make them dream of a prosperous and promising future.
The strong sadness that takes over their lives needs to be replaced by an ideal of life. They must ask themselves: Is what I do with my life important? Am I important and, consequently, is my life important?
A young person who does not experience autonomy and does not understand his position in the world, feels lost and disconnected from everything and loses the pleasure of living, especially if he is restricted or forced to attend a school he does not like, or to take a course to to please his parents, or to pursue a profession he does not like.
How to help these young people
Each year, around 800.000 suicide deaths occur worldwide, which is one death every 40 seconds. Among young people (15 to 29 years), it is the second leading cause of death globally, according to World Health Organization estimates.
To help them find a place in the world and feel useful, parents need to understand that this phase is very important for the formation of an emotionally balanced adult and to transform with them.
Understand that they are no longer children but young people in a moment of transition, and at this moment, like any transformation, they face difficulties due to adaptations.
Knowing your child's motivations and interests are key factors for a smooth passage through adolescence.
Showing attractive possibilities, promoting inclusion in groups of common interests, are a way to make him sociable and to place him in groups where he feels welcomed and loved.
And most importantly, don't try to shape the young person's personality to your own liking. In other words, don't try to make your child an experiment for your personal achievements, on the contrary, help him find his true gifts, and show him how he can be useful to society and how his life will be important to other people. .
By doing so, he will be more likely to become emotionally strong to deal with the adversities of adult life and be able to face the challenges of everyday life.
It's needed
• Listen carefully and stay calm.
• Understanding his feelings (empathy).
• Giving non-verbal messages of acceptance and respect.
• Express respect for their opinions and values.
• Talk honestly and authentically.
• Show your concern, care and affection.
• Focus on his feelings without pressure.
• Respect your space and your ideas.
• Being shocked or very emotional.
• Give him quality time, doing what he likes, not what you want. For that you need to know what he likes.
• Don't treat him like he's inferior to you and doesn't know anything.
• Do not make invasive and unclear comments.
• Do not ask indiscreet questions.
A calm, open, accepting and non-judgmental approach is key to facilitating communication.
A message for young people who are emotionally lost
Maturity is not born from the need to be an adult, but from the knowledge that is acquired throughout life, in the experiences of others that make us become aware of the consequences of our actions.
Problems will possibly pass, but death is the end point.
Today's sadness makes us stronger tomorrow, and it is the experience necessary for us to be able to feel fully happy in the future.
Try to find happiness in the little things. This phase is really difficult, but try to look to the examples of other young adults who have experienced emotional difficulties and overcome them!
Realize that it is possible to overcome and seek mechanisms for this.
Understand that seeking self-recognition is an extremely important tool!
You need to know who you are, what your role is in the world, what you like, what you don't like and act to improve those talents of yours that will motivate you to be even better in the future. And that, consequently, will make your life fill with meaning.
Fear exists. The fear of failing, of not being able to do it, of not being good enough, is natural, we all go through it. It is necessary to overcome fear, and strengthen courage. But we can only do that with willpower, setting goals, making plans, and not charging yourself so much.
After all, perfection does not exist, even if many cover you for it! Keep in mind that you don't have to be perfect or do what others want you to do to be accepted.
There will always be someone who will accept you as you are! If this someone hasn't crossed your path yet, you can be sure he exists, maybe you're not looking in the right place. So, seek professional help, try to put yourself in groups of people who feel like you and understand: when we help another person, we end up helping ourselves!
Young man, you didn't ask to come into the world, but you are part of it and you can make a difference in it.
This idea of ​​a happy life all the time being introduced into society does not exist. We live happy moments, but never in the history of humanity have we been 100% happy all the time, and that is impossible to happen.
