We often find ourselves in certain situations in life where it is much easier to be extremely sweet and gentle and say a big “yes” than to act sincerely and say a “no”. Many people believe that the act of saying “no” can be exhausting and even a reason for discomfort for both the speaker and the listener. But the truth is that, by acting on impulse and saying “yes” when there is no certainty about what is being said, we complicate and problematize situations that could have been resolved very simply. Who has never accepted an invitation to go out on the weekend and, at the same time the “yes” was said, the mind created at least two situations that could be used as lame excuses to get rid of the walk? Excuses such as a headache, lack of money, a sick grandmother or even "my mother didn't let me" are the most used when "sticking" with someone. But do you know what makes people act that way?
Why is running away better than facing?
Nowadays, dealing with unwanted situations promotes anxiety and makes people look for simpler and less stressful ways out, which is a great illusion, because the act of postponing a decision or even a commitment becomes that famous phrase: “push with the belly”; no matter how much you run away now, the issues won't solve themselves, much less disappear!
Modern society craves solutions but forgets that the path to each achievement is of utmost importance and defines how each situation will end: if you look at what needs to be resolved now and seriously, everything will go as planned. But if you put off and prefer to believe that everything will be okay, even when you take no action, control of the situation will be lost and you will have to deal with the consequences of your lack of action and positioning.
Ignoring what causes discomfort does not make someone feel comfortable, but rather a pending. Escape promotes the feeling of not having responsibility for something and gives the false idea that everything is fine, which is why letting go can seem like a great option in decisive moments that cause constant concern, but once again it is necessary to emphasize : this feeling is illusory!
Why do people make lame excuses?
Once the “yes” has been said, you become responsible for a commitment. When you accept an invitation, an opportunity or simply accept something that a person has imposed or said, you take it upon yourself to keep your word and not fail – both with the other and with yourself. Upon realizing that something has been accepted just to not say "no", an individual automatically makes plans internally to get out of that situation, and that's where the lame excuses come in.
Making up a lie is considered by many to be less painful than the truth, but the reality is that it's not the truth that hurts, but the way you deal with it. In the end, it all depends on the way the words are said! Surely making up an illness is no better than rescheduling a ride to a day when you're more excited. Running away from guilt and obligations as a human being causes a person to enter a cycle where excuses created to “fill in holes” become commonplace and even define who you are.
There are those who have the impression and believe in the idea that a "no" can close doors in any situation in life, but know that finding excuses to cover your true will or decision makes you a completely wrapped person!
Can pretexts be considered a defense mechanism?
Many people feel cornered in the face of some life situations, so, out of fear, they prefer not to expose themselves or not open up, preserving their innermost being. The fear of judgment from others can make an individual feel the need to look like something he is not and even to accept everything that is proposed to him to be socially well-regarded. But again, understand: these sensations are illusory!
When we feel out of place or intimidated by people or situations, it's common for us to want to run right away or say anything just to get away with it. But then what? How to bear what was said and how to keep our word? As much as the need to be accepted or to show strength and clarity is something extremely strong, the consequences arise when we are faced with situations and people again or when the moment comes that calls for our attitude.
Defending yourself with an excuse is like covering the sun with a sieve!
What can this habit do to people?
Those who usually make lame excuses for certain situations automatically go over themselves, their own desires and values ​​simply to please others. The feeling of frustration soon arrives, causing both parties to be disappointed: the person who made the excuses feels frustrated with himself for the difficulty of emphasizing what he wants and the one who heard the excuses also feels frustrated for having believed and even bet. on the other person.
The habit of using excuses to not tell the truth makes a person totally lose his credibility in front of others – it is not difficult to see that someone is inventing something to “get away” from a situation. In addition, this escape ends up becoming an addiction, it's that famous "yes, but then I'll fix it". Postponing resolutions makes anything more difficult. It is necessary to understand that, most of the time, we are the ones who problematize and complicate situations. The habit of putting off a decision makes us anxious and creates a thousand possibilities when, in fact, everything is very simple; the more it gets complicated, the more you want to run away or leave it for later!
You may also like
- Examples of excuses that keep you from fulfilling dreams
- Know the only excuse you should use in life
- Strategies to leverage your career without excuses
Living with a person who is always making excuses is living with someone driven by uncertainty and inconstancy: there is no way to know if you can count on him or if what he says is true or if it should be taken into account. Frustration is the word that defines it, and believe me: the more excuses an individual uses to get rid of something, the more he curls up and the less he can have a peaceful life.
