A person's negative attitudes can be a way to get attention. Before judging the other, it is important to understand and reflect on the reasons that led the person to take that attitude. After all, she may need your attention and didn't know how to get it right.
Who has never encountered a situation in which a person, whether a family member, a mere acquaintance or a co-worker, had a negative attitude? Even more so when we don't agree with what is happening right before our eyes. Before reprimanding the other for the unfortunate way of having done such an action, it is important to stop for a moment and understand the reasons that led that individual to act that way.
Such behavior can actually be a way for that person to get attention: there are hidden details that escape us and, nowadays, we live so absorbed in our individual problems that we lack the availability and willingness to donate our time and our attention to the other. In addition, it is also necessary to understand that when someone reacts negatively in order to get our attention, we need to analyze the situation more deeply with discernment and understanding.
If we are not able to discern and understand what is necessarily the need of the other, by acting in such a way, we end up making a bad judgment and worsen the scenario that is already exhausting in itself.
What to do then?
The key to dealing with people who continually try to promote themselves with negative attitudes is to not fight back, not react, and not take it personally. We must understand the root of the problem and deal with it from there.
It is necessary to remember that these people act on impulse and do not have emotional control, much less self-knowledge to understand themselves, they do not even know, in fact, what their true needs are, so they try to get our attention in a negative way, so that we we try to help them discover what they really need.
That is, they are screaming for help.
When a person finds himself in this situation, unconsciously he is saying, 'Please help me! Save me from myself! I don't know what I need and that's why I get so angry!” But such support is not so easy to achieve. Most people are proud and will not accept empty opinions or mere guesswork. These opinions can sound like judgments and make them even more nervous.
The trick is to wait patiently for them to calm down.
After the negative situation, use wisdom to deal with this situation. It's smart to step away for a few hours and wait for the best time to talk, a time when you're both more relaxed and calm, to get back to the subject in a friendly way, without these people understanding that they're being scolded, on the contrary!
So, to get good results with impulsive people, they will need to feel that they are being welcomed and that, at that moment, your attention is fully focused on them.
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Situations like this are very common. It can happen to a child, a husband, a wife, a mother or a father… After all, it can happen to anyone. Therefore, before recriminating the other, a good dose of patience is essential: negative attitudes may not be a portrait of an evil personality; they may just be the only way they know to get your attention.
How to help?
People who try to attract attention negatively need help figuring out who they really are. And it is not an easy path, because, depending on the context in which the person is, the type of support must be given by a professional who helps in the path of self-knowledge: instead of pointing the finger and judging them, indicate ways to so they can find out what their real needs are, because most of the time, they don't know what they are.
