Today we have different opinions, in everyday life, on social networks, in apps, in WhatsApp groups. Some that we agree in whole or in part, others that we reject and it seems that all these manifestations generate the need to express our “truths”.
And how have you been reacting to all this? With the whirlwind of emotions running through you due to quarantine, new coronavirus and everything else, we are on the roller coaster of feelings, oscillating in the ups and downs, of sensations, losing in the game of emotions and changing our frequency.
And do you know how we've acted? In one of the forms below or in several of them:
( ) Say what you think, hurts whoever it hurts.
( ) Ignores, but keeps mulling over what he does not agree with, weighing whether to speak or not.
( ) Block and exclude those who disagree with you, with explanation.
( ) Block and exclude anyone who disagrees with you, without explanation.
( ) It is really indifferent
It's happening to many people and it happens to me, but the secret is knowing how to deal with emotions and taking the opportunity to learn from everything, which can be done through the law of the mirror.
When the opinions of people you love, know or even strangers hurt your values, you can be sure that there is something bigger behind it, even in the biggest challenge “what we see in others is a reflection of ourselves”, that is, everything that bothers the other I have, this is the LAW OF THE MIRROR.
Posicionamento
We learn from an early age that we have to position ourselves and we spend a lot of time judging, it happens with almost everything: clothes, football or sports team, politics, religion, life choice, among others.
From an early age, pillars are built with concepts of what is right and wrong, good and bad, difficult or easy, we live within conditioning and many acquired with what we learned or saw in childhood.
And maybe it's still valid in your life, or today you look and consider this learning something that is not positive. It happens a lot, because we change, it's part of growing up.
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When looking inward, maxims of popular saying resurface with such force that the need to maintain a position or attitude is vital to demonstrating who you are. Such as:
- Silence gives consent.
- I give an ox not to get into a fight, but I give a herd not to leave.
- To the wise, half a word is enough.
- When one doesn't want two don't fight.
And so, inside you, rescuing all your beliefs, thoughts and feelings, comes the need to “say what you came for” and the reason to agree or disagree with something, to express with emphasis what you feel, you go there and put everything out, then comes chaos and new movements on the roller coaster of feelings.
And you keep going over everything you did, said, wrote or the way you expressed your feelings, but the law of the mirror was not used, stop, breathe and question what bothers you about it.
looking at the reflection
I love quotes and this text reminds me of Pablo Neruda, in the verses below:
“If I am loved,
the more loved
but I respond to love.
If I'm forgotten,
I must forget too
For love is made a mirror:
It has to have a reflection.”
It's time to face the mirror, see what everything that bothers you reflects on you.
Connect to your feelings, as you think about the situation, person and discussion, what do you feel?
Identify what you feel and what you remember, for something is present and keeps you identified with what is being repelled, the moment you look and realize what it is, you have taken a big step towards change.
Family Constellation and Belonging
Family Constellation is a brief therapy and works with the orders of love, they are: belonging, hierarchy and exchange balance.
“The law of belonging says that belonging to your family, to your system, is a basic need, greater even than survival, to belong we give up even life.”
What does this have to do with the text? Everything, when I talk about belonging, I open a way to look, see and give a place to the excluded.
The excluded can be someone you know, someone who has ceased to belong to your system by a judgment of some action of this or others, a feeling, a nation and more.
The question is: when you exclude the other's opinion, what hurts you?
Yes, DOR!
You feel ANGER! Look at anger, give this feeling a place and say it's part of it.
If it's ANXIETY, FEAR, SADNESS, PREJUDICE, VIOLENCE, PAIN or other feeling, include it, say it belongs, you can look at it and say you feel it or you felt it.
If you remember someone in the family or someone you knew, who went through a situation and was excluded, you couldn't even talk about him, include, even if you don't know the name, say: "I see you, you are part of it, I judged you and /or judged you, I'm sorry." Those excluded in the system are identified with people, who unknowingly begin to have actions similar to those of this person, even if they do not know them.
It could be a situation that you lived in that was very challenging, include the situation and see, give a place, when we give a place everything is in order, accepting what happened and accepting the strength to go for life. At this moment, it could be the CONFINEMENT, if you are very critical of the way the other behaves, give a place to the confinement, say that you see him and that he is part and also give way to the feelings he brings.
Today I went through this situation. I constelated something that I didn't realize was excluded, and when included, everything took its rightful place. Being able to untangle what was in disarray changed the feelings and released a situation that I hadn't looked at for a long time, but was latent when I came across some divergent opinions from mine.
gratitude and growth
Currently the complaint has taken hold and we stop thanking you. Give thanks. If you are reading the written text, you have an electronic device, so be grateful for that device, be grateful for being alive, be grateful for being able to read or for being able to hear, simply be GRATITUDE!
Looking at your reflection, face what is in disarray and messing with your guts, pay attention and identify the feeling. And it may come: a person, a feeling, a situation or anything else, look it in the face and to keep the systemic lesson, thank: the ancestors, your nation and go for life.
Thanking you allows you to GROW.
I thank you, ME WITHOUT BORDERS and everyone who read this article. HUGE GRATITUDE!
