Those who only see the surface are likely to confuse self-love with arrogance or narcissism, thinking that everything is accomplished without effort and dedication. This vision can end up romanticizing the path to be taken towards this achievement; not everyone is willing to pay the price for it. If loving above all is essential for us to enjoy a full and pleasant life, this is a process that is far from fairy tales and the world of fantasies.
Every day, messages about self-care and self-esteem sprout on social media. As positive as this is, we need to be aware that there is no idealization of self-knowledge as something easy and simple to do. It is as Drummond wrote: “In the middle of the way there was a stone”. In this journey towards self-love, stones (yes, in the plural) are inevitable; however, even if painful, they have the power to help us on the path of rediscovering ourselves.
There is no light without darkness, and vice versa - so said the analytical psychologist Carl Jung. Trying to put under the rug the parts that make us judgmental is an attitude that only contributes to the imprisonment of who we are in essence. Learning from mistakes and adverse feelings is as important as praising our qualities acquired throughout our experiences. Self-love goes beyond appearances and what is shown to please: it is built with time, grace and a lot of learning.
Experiences build us. They are what shape us. Some are happy, others not so much. We create shells and cocoons that are difficult to penetrate.
Being someone genuine in this age of superficiality and consumerism requires courage and good doses of action. Brick by brick, ups and downs, we shouldn't be afraid to face the pains and delights of being who we really are. All of this is part of the never-ending hard work of this quest, and it can be magical when we understand that.
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Taking care of yourself is an ongoing practice that involves healing from pain and trauma borne for years. It's valuing your company and that of people who love you; It's being alone and not being afraid to look in the mirror. It's knowing how to say "no" to what escapes the choices of your heart. It is laughing at faults and loving them in total acceptance; honor its history; understand that everything takes time and that the lens of the other is unable to see or supply our inner dimension. Be proud of the evolving being that you are. Love yourself!
