Daily, I receive many indications from customers to do a Family Constellation session, when I contact these people, I see how much FEAR and UNKNOWLEDGE, for this reason many flee the service.
What is it?
Family Constellation is a brief therapy, in which the person brings a question to look at; representatives (people, anchors, dolls or animals) are positioned in the morphogenetic field, characterizing the people involved and the issue raised, all with a connection to the client and his life, observing and following the brought movements, the feelings, using systemic phrases, in the which entanglements are worked out, adjustments are made, awareness of the unconscious, which has been guiding you and even the “possible” resolution of the matter brought up.
The creator is Bert Hellinger, a German psychotherapist, who drank from different sources of Psychotherapy to develop Family Constellation, such as: Arthur Janov, Eric Berne, Fritz Perls, Gregory Bateson, Ivan Bosyomenvi-Nagy, Jacob Levy Moreno, Mary and Bobo Goulding, Milton Erikson, Sigmund Freud and Virginia Satir.
Embracing the look of Quantum Physics, if everything is energy, we know that thoughts are waves that vibrate, I really like the example of the radio wave that is captured when we turn on and tune into a frequency, there we hear: news, music and others, if I care on a news station I will not connect with music.
Now imagining all this, looking at my family's history, their actions, feelings and pains and I'm connected with them, regardless of whether I like these people or not, they vibrate in me, even ancestors I didn't know in my system influence my story!
And in Quantum Physics, past, future and present time happens now, how many times I attend people who carry what was said in their childhood as if it had happened and who are not in the present or are in the future, but dealing with the current results.
Scientifically, if I inherit physical characteristics from my parents, because my DNA is composed of my biological parents, can I repeat other characteristics such as health and even behaviors?
For these assertions above, Family Constellation brings a look at your system and how it moves, in the face of what you work in the session, bringing understanding of your beliefs and even repetitive family patterns.
Shamanic Family Constellation
Today I have training in Shamanic Family Constellation, Systemic Family Constellation, Constellation in the Force of Waters and Systemic Law: in Family Constellations in Conflict Resolution, I also receive many questions about Shamanic Family Constellation.
And when the client looks at my portfolio, he wants to know the difference between Systemic and Shamanic Family Constellations, NONE, everything is Shamanic and everything is systemic, but bringing clarity, I use Shamanic musical instruments, music and some movements that work in the Constellation.
Using the orders of love
To talk about Family Constellation, it is vital to explain about the orders of love, which are three:
- Belonging: the need to belong to the group, to the family;
- Hierarchy: there is an order of who came first and the need to be respected;
- Exchange Balance: Maintaining the balance of give and take in the relationship.
In the session, it is possible to see one or more of these broken orders, generating entanglements, which cause conflicts and disorders in the family system. And I usually come across people who DO NOT come to the session because of fears, which I will address.
What are the main fears brought about by not participating in Family Constellation?
1st – Spirits, ghosts, dead and supernatural
As usual, I hear: “In a family constellation session I will see spirits, I will deal with the dead, with ghosts, I DON'T WANT IT, I'M AFRAID OF IT!”
The family constellation session is not a religious ritual, nor is it intended to deal with the incorporation of the dead.
When working with the morphogenetic field, however, which deals with the repetitive patterns of our species, using the commands of love, we look at the entanglements of the client's life story and when opening the system, familiar stories appear that were not looked at, that are in disarray and with the possibility of making adjustments.
A personal example: my parents are deceased, when I open or open my system, my parents are placed, I am 50% father and 50% mother, I received their life, they died and are placed in my constellation, yes!
I am part of this system, regardless of whether they are alive, they are part of my system and this happens when a deceased family member is brought into the system, people or puppets are positioned to represent their history.
And within the session, we looked at the representatives, their positions, using the orders of love, to see the soul movements and work on the question brought!
If you have this fear that a spirit will appear or that something paranormal will happen? Now you understand that it is not that, after all you will bring to your conscious what lives in your unconscious.
2nd - Religion
It happens a lot, when people say to me: “I have a religion, if I go to a family constellation I will disrespect my religion! I will go against the principles of my religion, because family constellation is religiosity!”
It's okay for you to have your religion, the family constellation has no connection with religion, your faith is yours and it won't be changed in the session.
Maybe your church or even religion will appear if you bring up a question that has a connection with your religiosity, if not, it won't even be asked.
Understand that the faith you profess will not be changed in a family constellation session, on the contrary, I have seen in the courses I have taken related to family constellation, priests, pastors, Shintoists, Jews, seicho-no-ie, messianic, father and mother of saints, spiritists, Jews, Buddhists and even Islam, to better serve their audience.
Family constellation is a brief therapy and is not intended to convert you, because it is not a religion.
3 - Dealing with my pain
“I'm afraid to deal with my pains, I don't want to deal with them, I can't deal with them.”
At this moment, you who bring this fear, you have some issue, some problem, which is very challenging to look at and deal with all this alone, you know that you need to change and look at it, make a place for it, it is part of this process.
When you open to look at pain, you open to pleasure, because you stop running from pain, so it is necessary to take a look at what terrifies you and face what makes you small, giving a place for that you grow and face this with your strength.
You are welcome, here is a safe place for you to do so.
4th – Opinion of others: “What will say, will discover that I participated in a family constellation.”
People will talk about me, comment that I am going to that place, they are normal and I have problems and I am not able to deal with them, if they know that I came to the constellation to take care of me, they will speak ill of me, because I am different.
There is a disease, called normosis, which identifies people who strive to be like others, having the same habits, the big question is that we are all different, living like this generates unhappiness.
In addition to having your life guided by a high standard of meeting the demands of others, you have a very high REPUTATION value, who has never heard from someone close to you: “When they hear you did this or that, so-and-so, cyclana will speak, I do not accept that.”
It's time to be you, authentic, being who you are! The first step is taking care of yourself, accepting who you are and what bothers you, looking to change if that's your choice.
What the other thinks of you is his point of view, it's time for you to grow up and take care of yourself!
Know that there is a family constellation carried out: in groups and with people, which can have an open or even veiled theme; and the individual, you and the family constellation facilitator, performed with puppets, puppets in the water and anchors.
5th – “I am small or weak, because I need help!”
When needing help, some people feel diminished for not being able to take care of themselves or something that happened to you, WE ALL NEED HELP, we live in society, we are part of a whole, often we need another look to get help , to do otherwise or even become aware of what is happening.
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- Family therapy: How it works and who can do it
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The sooner the customer looks for it, the better; sometimes, when the client arrives for the session, he has so many questions to look at that he doesn't know where to start, it's time to look for a way to take care of what bothers you, yes. No more running away from being you, being happy and living a life connected to your dreams.
Regardless of which path, seek help so that you have another result, allow yourself to have new possibilities, get out of the box.
6 – Change: “I’m afraid to change”
Some people are very afraid of change, of the new, of something that is different, they want to have money, an amazing relationship, health, a house, a nice job, etc., but they don't want to change anything they do in their lives and life is bad, because they never get what they want.
If the way you learned leads you to the same results, why don't you do it differently?
What price will you pay to maintain a life you don't want?
How long has it been since you allowed yourself to look at yourself and change the way you live?
When you come to a family constellation session, you bring to your conscious what is in your unconscious, you have a new look to do in another way.
7th – Money: “Family Constellation is expensive!!!”
There are clients who are afraid to know the value of a family constellation, which is expensive, “I don't have the money to make a family constellation, it's something for rich people!”
The SUS has constellation services, there are municipalities that use the technique.
Now do you value what you get? Do you know how to receive and do you know how to give?
Do you know what an exchange balance is?
At the beginning of my career as a therapist, I gave appointments and whoever received it DID NOT VALUE the session, then these people came to me, but were not willing to pay.
It is necessary to have energy of value.
Now, if I only give and don't receive, the balance of exchange is broken.
Everything has its value, we have our value, when you work for someone you get paid, if your employer turns to you and says he will pay you what he wants, which is less than what you get now, like you stay?
The balanced relationship respects the Law of Balance of Exchange, one of the orders of the family constellation, if you give something to someone and he gives you something in return, the relationship is balanced.
And my clients come back, for other issues or even to deepen the same issue, because they feel that what they received in the session has VALUE!
The vanished ignorance, NO MORE FEAR!!!
When looking at something we don't know, we come to see that there are new possibilities and proving it is the best way to release ignorance.
There are no guarantees for human development, for each one is in a way, the question is what do you choose to do to create a new form after going through any integrative therapy session attendance, but I guarantee you that if you do the same way will have the same results.
The invitation is to experience a family constellation session, get out of the FEAR zone and face the KNOWLEDGE zone, that of being PRESENT.
