There is a wave of internet gurus that we need to be very careful with. They love to talk about relationships and the way men's or women's minds work. But they are usually based on clichés and very little personal experience. The vast majority are men who have just come out of adolescence and who have never experienced real love. And then there's a profusion of bad advice and Facebook phrases.
Just the other day I saw a boy, in the prime of his 24 years, saying that if a man isn't madly in love with you – and makes passionate declarations of love – he just won't do. Well, in fact, the vast majority of men will be of no use to anyone.
These people disregard spiritual, past-life, and current cultural issues. They are heads and councils totally based on the romanticism of the XNUMXth century. It's hard to see that some people end up ruining relationships by following this advice.
Relationships are difficult things. Very difficult. Perhaps one of the most difficult things we have to deal with. And in liquid times, it really does seem easier to just walk away. But it's that thing: if your computer is broken – or some appliance that was really expensive – do you just throw it away and buy another one? Or at least try to fix it?
That's the net times, the net boards, the net heads. People no longer want to fight for their relationships or anything else. The world has many options, and they all look wonderful. And it's hard to have to give up good things, even if it's for something else good, but it's complicated to understand and accept.
Really, relationships are not about bringing peace. At least not the monotonous peace we have in our imaginations. Relationships are meant to challenge us, to make us see parts of ourselves that we are ashamed or afraid to look at. Relationships are big mirrors, in which everything we think we are is reflected, in which all our trash – and all our glory – appears reflected in the other.
We've seen cases of people who were terrible husbands to some women, for example, but wonderful men to others. We've seen women who have caused a lot of pain to be great mothers and wives. This is not to say that they were more or less in love – in fact, passion often has little to do with it – but that they were people someone fought for. A roller coaster of emotions, perhaps, that in the end worked out.
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No, not every time it works. And succeeding doesn't necessarily mean staying together forever. I know of three-year marriages that have worked out very well. I've known couples together for 50 years that never worked out. There are many reasons why we stay in a relationship or not.
So, the next time you read a Facebook sentence that sounds like good advice, consider whether it really is advice for you. It may even be, but who needs to evaluate this is you.
