Selfish people learn to manipulate others. It's all about control. They seek, through this control, to also obtain the circumstances to achieve their goals. The needs of others are not even noticed by them.
Think about if you've ever encountered someone who is never interested in what you say, but demands your full attention and/or agreement when SHE says something. Sometimes the egoists even listen, but they soon take advantage of what has been said. So it's best to be very careful with whom you choose to confide and open up. They usually criticize behind your back.
By keeping constant attention on how they act, egoists will soon feel that they have lost control over you. As they live in search of control, they do not accept those who no longer submit. And you can be sure that the egoist will think of a way to "revenge", that is, to regain lost control. In this case, it is better to always act with kindness. Kindness is an extremely difficult thing for the egoist to deal with. So, there is no other solution but to try to get away from her as much as possible.
Vanity is another characteristic of the selfish
They don't show vulnerability or weakness; they always want to be first – and also to prevent anyone from threatening their supremacy. Do you know someone who always ignores your opinion and that of other colleagues, but values their own? A good way to deal with them is to ignore them, and not let these attitudes affect you personally.
Sharing or giving something away is always difficult for an egoist. Because they always want something in return, even when they show a caring side. And it could be that an act of kindness is covering up a great need for attention and praise. They are those people who, when they give a basic basket at Christmas, or when they donate a coat in the winter, go out announcing to the four corners, promoting their generosity. Every action of an egoist has a purpose! In that case, ignore the act and don't praise.
Egoists expect others to do things for them.
They have high expectations for themselves. And they truly believe that they DESERVE everything. They expect to be rewarded, even if they didn't do anything! Try to avoid giving them what they want.
Criticism is very poorly received by selfish people, who cannot understand when observation is constructive. They think they are trying to devalue their work and their potential. We often meet these people and recognize them right away, as they are always looking to defend themselves when criticized. They never realize when they're wrong; they don't want to learn from different opinions and they don't want to grow. As they do not accept that they can make mistakes, when this happens, the selfish person blames someone or runs away from the situation. Humility is an unknown concept to them. However, the egoist is the first to criticize when the mistake is someone else's. How many people do you know who don't think twice about giving harsh criticism – even taking it personally – when a colleague fails?
People who live with egoists find it very difficult to free themselves from this control.
Egoists involve people, eventually destroying their trust. Assertiveness is the ability to express feelings, thoughts and needs, and it must be learned and exercised in balance with the other, without causing harm to either party. Remember that control of your life belongs to you; if selfish people can't live with your assertiveness, they'll get out of your life.
Egoists do not know that they are selfish. So protect yourself, but always have compassion on them.
You may also like other articles by this author. Go to Holistic View of Health
